Your Memory Will Have to Do
by Topsy
Summary: D/C story, please r/r. There are 10 chapters, plus the epilogue! It's finally all finished since Oct. 1st, 2001!
1. Your Memory Will Have to Do Part One

Please title this page. (Page 1)

-oo-o-oo- 

October 1, 01 

-oo-o-oo- 

Thanks to Kobe for this AWESOME idea. This chapter is rated PG 13. 

-oo-o-oo- 

Carol held the handkerchief tightly between her hands and studied the dark wood of the pew in front of her, the one Doug was sitting on. She sighed. 

"I just wanna be happy," She paused, "and I'm so afraid I never will be." 

"You will." Doug said immediately. He watched her from the corner of his eye and when she didn't turn to look at him, he reached back and slid his hand warmly over his, easing her. "You will." Carol turned her head and finally met his gaze. Doug, wanting her so badly but knowing he couldn't have her, finally looked away. 

"Do you want to head out there? Be with your family?" He asked quietly. She paused and then shook her head. 

"No. I want to get out of here." She said. He glanced at her and eventually nodded. 

"Alright." He replied. 

-oo-o-oo- 

Carol, now dressed in a pair of jeans, a black tanktop, and a jean jacket, looked across the jeep toward Doug. He was watching the streets through the windshield and pretending to ignore her. She glanced back out the side window but couldn't stop herself. 

"Doug. Thank you." She said. He glanced at her and nodded. 

"Sure." He said and flicked his finger over the blinker. The turn signal came on and Carol glanced through the darkness toward the glowing light of the sign. 

Benny's Bar and Grill. 

"This okay?" Doug asked. Carol nodded. 

"Perfect." She replied and hopped out of the jeep before he had even shut the jeep off. He watched her head toward the entrance for a moment before shaking his head and sighing. He climbed out of the vehicle and watched her enter the bar, knowing he was only getting himself into more trouble. 

-oo-o-oo- 

Carol was drunk, but not drunk enough to pass out. Doug knew that was probably not a good thing. He also knew it was a good thing he hadn't let himself drink right along with her because first of all he needed to get her home and secondly he knew if they were both drunk he wouldn't be able to restrain himself. 

"Doug, are you ready to go? I'm ready go get out of here!" Carol exclaimed and grinned sideways at him. He couldn't help but smile, remembering how fun she was when she was intoxicated. 

"I think we need to get you home and into bed." He said and stood, helping her off the stool. She shook his hand off and walked toward the door, tripping slightly only once. 

"Now you've got the right idea." She said, slurring just a little as she pushed her way outside, Doug closely on her heels. 

"Carol, I meant alone." He said. She stopped and turned, peering back at him. 

"What fun is that, Dougie boy?" She asked. He rolled his eyes. This was definitely not good. She tried to take a step back toward him but she stumbled and he had to loop an arm around her waist quickly to hold her up. "Woah." She grinned up at him. He chuckled. 

"C'mon. We'll get you home." He said and led her to the jeep. 

-oo-o-oo- 

"Doug, come on, come in." She said, motioning widely with her hands as she stood at the door of her apartment. 

"Uh, Carol, I don't think..." She swayed slightly and he caught her waist in his big hands. "Alright." He said because he wasn't sure how far she'd get into the apartment before collapsing on the floor. "Let's go." She grinned. 

"Great. I knew I'd convince ya." She said. He chuckled. 

"Yeah, you convinced me alright." He said. She nodded and struggled to find the light switch. He couldn't help but laugh slightly as he reached over and flipped the light on. 

"There we go!" She exclaimed, proud that she had gotten the light on. Or thought she had gotten the light on. He laughed under his breath and pushed her gently toward her bedroom. 

"C'mon, let's get you into bed. You'll pass right out." He said. 

"Nuh-uh, I'm wide awake." She said and grinned at him. 

"That's what I'm afraid of." He muttered and walked into her bedroom. She lifted her arms and he chuckled, sliding her jacket from her shoulders. He looked around before settled to hang it on the back of her bedroom door with her robe. She turned and was watching him when he looked back at her. "Let's get you into bed." He said and walked to the bed. He pulled the covers down and hit her pillow once, for good measure. 

"Crawl in." He said. She shook her head. 

"Not with my jeans on." She said. He sighed. 

"Carol." He murmured. She watched him. 

"I can't sleep in jeans." She said and felt her mind clearing slightly, very well aware of what she was trying to do. He sighed. 

"So take them off." He said. She began fumbling with the buttons, making her hands less useless than they really were. He couldn't help himself and felt that his eyes were drawn to her hands. Then he sighed, knowing she would never get those jeans off with hands like those. "C'mere." He said and muttered a curse. She smiled when he bent his head and began to work the snap on her jeans. She pretended to lean against him for balance, when in reality she just wanted to feel his body against hers. "Carol." He said and looked up at her. She looked up at him and he ran his hands through her hair, pushing it away from her face. Then he stepped back and dropped his hands, knowing if he didn't move away he wouldn't be able to stop touching her. 

Carol tugged gently on the jeans and they fell, pooled around her feet. She watched with awareness as Doug hungrily eyed her legs. Then his eyes traveled up her body and met her gaze. She stepped out of the jeans and walked toward him. He stepped back and turned. 

"Get settled in." He said. Her brows puckered and she quickly thought of something else. So she smiled seductively at him and walked to the bed, only a little unsteady on her feet now. The alcohol had wore off to a new physical awareness of him and herself. She slid under the covers. 

"Tuck me in." She said, her voice slightly husky. He cleared his throat and bent over her, pulling the covers up to her chest. Then, without warning, her arms wound around his neck with a surprisingly strong grasp and she pulled him down. He, not expecting it, stumbled and fell across her chest. 

"Don't go, Doug, please don't go. I don't want to be alone. Not tonight." She said, completely serious now. His breathing quickened as he felt her taut nipples pressed against his chest through the thin tanktop. 

"Carol, I really should go." He said, his self-control quickly crumbling. She moved her lips across his neck and whispered. 

"I need you." He groaned and turned his head, meeting her lips with his own. She sighed and kissed him back with all the pent-up passion that she had felt since their last kiss in the trauma room at work. Slowly she pulled him completely down onto the bed with her, greatly anticipating their lovemaking. 

-oo-o-oo- 

Later that night, in the early hours of dawn, Doug quickly pulled his clothes on in the soft light coming from the alarm clock. He glanced at the bed and studied the beautiful woman curled against pillows, her naked breasts pressing against the blanket. He sighed and turned, slowly creeping out of the room and out of the apartment. 

-oo-o-oo- 


	2. Your Memory Will Have to Do Part Two

Please title this page. (Page 1)

::::::::::::::: 

October 2 

::::::::::::::: 

Chapter two continues about an hour or so after the last one left off.. 

::::::::::::::: 

Carol blinked her eyes open slowly and stared at the empty space on the other side of the bed. She lifted her head off the pillow a bit and glanced around the room. She spotted her clothes piled on the floor where they had left them last night, but all of Doug's clothes were gone. 

God damn him! She should have known he wouldn't have stayed. Even though it must have been obvious to him that she might need him to stay, at least for that night because of her broken wedding. 

Carol turned her head away from the empty side of the bed and lay her head back on the pillow. She felt the tears well up in her eyes and she tried to force them down, but one managed to get around her willpower and crept slowly down her cheek. She wiped it away quickly with her left hand but before it was completely gone another had fallen. Then another. And before she could control them, tears were falling quickly from her eyes. She gave up and curled her hands under her as a sob ripped through her. Carol turned her wet face into the pillow to muffle the sobs that were spilling out of her. 

For once, for once, couldn't he have stayed?! She wondered painfully and tried to figure out why on earth she had let him back into her bed, hoping he would change. She was so stupid. He would never, ever change. 

::::::::::::::: 

When Carol's sobs had finally died down, she pushed herself up on the bed and looked at her clothes lying on the floor. Then she got up and made her way to her shower, having made a final decision. 

::::::::::::::: 

"Where's Carol?" Mark asked, coming up to the admit desk. Doug looked up at him and waited as no one answered. 

"I haven't seen her since last night." Doug volunteered, altering his story only slightly. Mark nodded. 

"Anybody know?" No one answered. "She's not here and she was supposed to be an hour ago." Normally he would have picked up the phone and called her but under the circumstances he thought maybe she just needed some time. Instead, Mark picked up a chart and walked off. 

::::::::::::::: 

"Cook County ER." The desk clerk said into the phone and quickly scrawled a note for Carter onto a scrap piece of paper. 

"This is Carol Hathaway. I need to speak to Dr. Greene." 

"Oh, sure Carol. Hold on a moment." He said and tucked the phone onto his shoulder and looked up, just as Mark came around to the admit desk. The clerk motioned to the phone. 

"Carol." He said. Mark took the phone. 

"Hey Carol." He said. 

"Hi Mark." She replied. 

"What's up?" He asked. 

"I'm sorry I didn't come to work. I should have called." She said. 

"That's okay. I understand." He said. She cleared her throat a bit. 

"Thanks. I uh, I need to talk to you. Do you think maybe we could meet for lunch at Doc Magoo's?" She asked. 

"Sure. What time?" He asked. 

"Is an hour okay?" She asked. 

"That's fine. I'll see you there then, okay?" 

"Thanks, Mark. Bye." 

::::::::::::::: 

Carol sat in a booth at Doc Magoo's, sipping on a soft drink. She watched the doors of the ER, waiting for Mark. Finally, a few minutes later than what they had planned, he walked out the doors. She watched him cross the parking lot and felt her stomach churn with nervousness. He pushed his way into the diner and Carol listened to the chime of the bells against the glass door. He looked around, his head swiveling, until he spotted her. He smiled and headed her way before sliding into the booth across from her. 

"Hey, sorry I'm late. How are you doing?" He asked immediately. She smiled. 

"I'm okay." She said. He nodded. 

"Alright. What do you need to talk to me about?" He asked. She sighed and wrapped her hands around the bottom of her glass. 

"I'm going to quit." She said. 

"Quit?" He asked, confusion filtering through with his voice. She nodded. 

"The job. Quit here, at Cook County." She said. 

"What? Carol, why?" He asked, completely shocked. Out of everything he would have thought she wanted to talk about, this would be the last on that list. She looked away, watching as an ambulance pulled into the bay. 

"I can't work here anymore, Mark. So much has happened in my life lately. It's...There's a lot of bad memories here. Good ones, too, but a lot of bad." 

"Carol, we can get through it. Everybody's here for you." He said. She smiled. 

"I know. That's what I'm going to miss. The family." She paused. "But Mark, I can't do it anymore. I have to get away." He sat back, watching her. 

"Alright." He paused. "I wish you would reconsider." He watched her, knowing she had made up her mind. 

"I wish I could, Mark, but..I can't." He nodded. 

"We'll miss you. If you ever need a job, there's always going to be one available for you here." He said. She nodded. 

"Thank you." She said and felt the tears creep up on her. She blinked them away and swallowed. 

"Mark, I..have to go. Thank you for being so wonderful. Tell the girls I'll miss them. And Susan. I'll miss you, Mark." She looked at him before getting up and walking out of the small diner for possibly the last time. She glanced at the ER, her home, one more time before tucking her hands into her pockets and walking briskly away. Mark watched her go, completely dumbfounded with all of it. Wondering if he would ever see her again. 

::::::::::::::: 

Mark walked slowly into the ER and headed into the lounge. He placed his coat back in his locker and walked out to the admit desk. 

"Mark, we've got a.." Lydia began to hand him a chart but he held up a hand. "Mark?" She asked. Haleh, Susan, and Doug all looked up from their various places around the area. 

"Carol quit." Doug's heart stopped. 

"What?" Susan asked, staring at him. 

"She quit. She just told me that she couldn't work here anymore and to tell the girls and Susan that she would miss them. Then she left. Just walked out of Doc Magoo's." He said. Doug stood, frozen to the spot, watching Mark. He couldn't breath, the world was tumbling down around his ears. 

"Carol quit." He whispered and finally got his limbs to work. He nodded once and picked up a chart and headed back to an empty exam room. The others watched him go, sorrow in all of their own hearts for him, for Carol, for themselves. 

Doug pushed his way into the room and leaned back against the door. She couldn't just quit like that. She couldn't. 

"Oh God." Doug muttered and thought he might be sick. This was all because of him. If he had just stayed last night, maybe everything would be different. Everything would be different, he knew. It was because of him that she had quit her beloved job. "Oh God." He repeated. He closed his eyes and swallowed against the nausea. 

Then the anger came upon him suddenly, burning his gut. What the fuck kind of bastard are you? He asked himself silently. In a blind fury he suddenly came to life and he threw the chart across the room. 

::::::::::::::: 


	3. Your Memory Will Have to Do Part Three

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October 3-12, 01 

::::::::::::::: 

This chapter continues..the day after the last one. 

::::::::::::::: 

Doug had already made a stop at Carol's apartment, hoping he would find her there. He hadn't. He didn't know where her landlord lived and didn't know how to find out, so he was heading toward Plan B. 

That was why he was sitting in his jeep, looking up at Helen Hathaway's little white house. He sighed and fought silently with himself over going up there to find Carol. He ran his hands over the steering wheel and before he could change his mind, he was out of the car and standing on the front walk. 

He stared up at the house and took a deep breath. Then he forced his legs into motion and began to walk slowly up the sidewalk. He headed up the steps silently, his heart pounding in his chest. He would never admit this to anyone, but Helen Hathaway scared the hell out of him. He stopped just in front of the door and nearly turned around and ran back to his jeep. Instead, he lifted his hand, fisted it, and quietly knocked on the door. Then he chastised himself because he had barely heard that knock, let alone had anyone inside. So he pounded a little harder on the door, in rhythm with his heart, and waited nervously. 

A few moments later, the door opened and he spotted half of Helen's face peeking around the door. 

"What do you want?" She asked, her voice stiff with hostility. He cleared his throat and shuffled on his feet. 

"Is Carol here?" He asked. 

"No and if she was I wouldn't tell you." Helen went to shut the door. 

"Wait!" Doug exclaimed. Helen sighed. 

"Go away, Douglas. Carol, nor I, want anything to do with you." 

"Could you at least tell me where she is? I need to talk to her." He said. 

"I'm sure you do. No, I'm not going to tell you where she is. In fact, she asked me not to tell you." Helen added. 

"She did?" Doug asked, his heart squeezing so tightly in his chest that he thought he might actually cry. 

"Yes, she did. Now, if you'd excuse me, I have more important business to attend to." Helen shut the door before Doug could protest, even though he couldn't find any words to protest. Carol didn't want him to know where she was. Had his actions really harmed her that much? 

God, he needed a drink. 

::::::::::::::: 

"Hey Marky!" Doug said as he walked into the ER. Mark looked up at him, over the admit desk and sighed. Not this shit again. 

"Doug, what are you doing here? You're not on." Mark said. 

"I love this place. It's me home." Doug said and chuckled to himself. He came around the wall, a little unsteady on his feet, and the grin he sent toward Mark was goofy. He threw his arm around Mark's neck and made him cringe when the smell of alcohol on Doug's breath reached his nostrils. 

"Damn, Doug, you need a mint." He said. 

"The curiously strong mint." Doug quoted, remembering a commercial he had seen. "That's Altoids just in case you.." 

"Yes, Doug, I know." Mark said. "C'mon, let's find you an empty room." 

"Okey, Marky, whatever you say." Doug said grinned happily and walked with Mark, half stumbling, to Exam Three. 

"Here. Lay down." Mark said. Doug grinned. 

"You coming with me?" He asked and laughed at his own joke. Mark rolled his eyes and began to prepare an IV for Doug. 

::::::::::::::: 

Doug groaned and rolled over on the gurney, nearly falling onto his ass. His head was pounding and his throat was as dry as a tomb. As he stood, his head felt like it was going to fall off his shoulders, so he pressed his hands to his face and held his head steady. 

"Shit." He muttered and when his brain finally stopped rattling against his skull, he dropped his hands and walked to the door. He stepped through and immediately made his way to the water fountain that was just down the hall. He bent his head and let the cool water refresh him, bringing his throat back to life. Now, if only he could find some strong aspirin. 

"You're up." Doug heard Mark say behind him. He turned. 

"Yeah." He smiled sheepishly. "Sorry about that, Mark. Do you know where I can find some aspirin? Like a whole bottle?" He asked. Mark nodded and dipped his hand into his pocket and brought out a bottle of Tylenol. 

"I'm prepared." He said and handed it over to Doug. 

"Thanks, buddy." Doug said and headed to the men's room. 

"Have a bad night?" Mark asked. Doug sighed and glanced over at him before dropping his head and studying the tile as they walked. 

"I uh, I went to Helen's to see if Carol was there. Helen wouldn't tell me where Carol was and I..Went to a bar." Doug finished, not knowing what else there was to say about the issue. 

"That's not the answer, Doug. Things didn't work out between you and Carol partially because of your drinking problem." Hand it to Mark to tell Doug the straight truth, the truth as it was. 

"I know." Doug sighed. "I hate knowing that I did this to her." He paused and looked at Mark. Mark didn't deny it, knowing it would be useless. He knew that something had happened with Carol and Doug after the would-be-wedding because he had seen them leaving together. Mark shrugged. 

"Only you can change you." He said. Doug nodded and pushed the door to the bathroom open. 

"Thanks Mark." He said and smiled before heading alone into the bathroom. Mark nodded a bit and walked off to see a patient. 

::::::::::::::: 

The next morning, before his shift started, Doug was outside, playing basketball. He shot and missed it, sighing as he chased after the ball. 

"Playing this early?" Doug heard and turned to smile at Mark. 

"Yeah. The ER isn't busy, so I came out here to pass time." He said. Mark nodded and caught the ball as Doug passed it. He did a quick lay-up and made the shot. 

"Lucky shot." Doug joked. Mark grinned. 

"You know I could beat your ass any day." He said, quickly and easily falling into their regular banter. Doug grinned. 

"I'll have to take you up on that this afternoon. What time is your shift over?" Doug asked and dribbled the ball that had been passed back to him. 

"Six, you?" Mark asked. 

"Same. Same court?" Doug asked and grinned. Mark nodded and smiled in return. 

"You bet your ass." He said. 

"No, I bet your ass. Dollar a basket." Doug said. Mark laughed. 

"You're on." He said. Doug nodded and the smile slipped off his face. Mark watched him. 

"You alright?" He asked quietly. Doug nodded and sighed. 

"I didn't realize how much she really meant to me until I made her leave." Doug said quietly. 

"You didn't make her leave." Mark said. Doug looked up at him. 

"Mark." Mark sighed. 

"There were other factors. Tag, is a huge one." Mark said. Doug shrugged. 

"They don't really work together, at least not that often. I'm sure she could have handled it. But I had to be a fucking bastard and she left." Doug met Mark's gaze. "She's gone because of me." Mark didn't reply, knowing there was no way to convince Doug otherwise, not even sure if Doug deserved an otherwise. They were friends, but Mark knew Doug did some pretty shitty things to Carol. 

"That night after Tag left her at the altar, I arrived at the wedding because you called me and told me what happened. I went there, just to..I don't know." Doug began playing with the basketball, keeping his eyes on it and fiddling with it so he wouldn't have to look at Mark. "I wanted to see her. When I got there she was in the church and so I went and sat with her and talked for a little bit. When I asked her if she wanted to go out there and be with all of you, she said no but that she wanted to get out of there. So I took her home and she asked me to stay while she changed, so I waited. When she came back she suggested we go out for beers. I didn't really want to because I didn't know if I would be able to keep my hands off of her. Anyway, we went out and she drank, a lot. I didn't drink anything because I didn't want my mind to be all muddled up. I wanted to make sure I could keep my head screwed on and not do anything stupid. She got drunk and so when I went to take her home, she wanted me to come inside. I didn't want to but she could barely walk. So I promised myself I would put her in bed and get out of there. But of course, she wasn't as drunk as she let on to be and I ended up sleeping with her." He sighed. "I felt like an ass, taking advantage of her like that. So, I did what I always used to do and I left before she woke up. Then she left the next day and now I don't know what to do with myself." Doug finally lifted his head and met Mark's gaze with his own. "It's my fault, Mark." 

"It was pretty stupid of you, Doug, but how could you have known she would leave?" Mark asked. "You didn't and she's gone. It's up to you what you want to do about it." Mark said. 

"It's obvious she doesn't want me to find her. I've hurt her enough. I'm going to let her go, stay out of her life. And I'm going to change mine." Doug said. 

"Your life?" Mark asked, raising his eyebrows. Doug nodded. 

"No more drinking or women for me, Mark. I'm done with that. I'm moving on." Doug said. 

"Good idea, buddy." Mark said and smiled. Doug nodded and ticked his head to the side. 

"You do realize you're going to have to keep me busy, don't you?" Doug grinned. Mark chuckled and snatched the ball from him. 

"Sure I do." He said and shot the ball. 

::::::::::::::: 


	4. Your Memory Will Have to Do Part Four

::::::::::::::: 

October 13, 01 

::::::::::::::: 

This chapter takes place 6 (yes, six) years after the last...(Don't mind the horrible medical stuff) 

::::::::::::::: 

Doug rolled over onto his side, his mind quickly flashing with the brief image of Carol. Laughing, her curly hair blowing in the wind. He quickly shoved it away, like he did every morning, and every night. She was the first thing he thought about when he woke and the last thing he thought of before he fell asleep. And all the time in between he had to struggle to forget her, even six years and a steady girlfriend later. 

He opened his eyes. He looked at the blonde woman lying beside him, her arms tucked under her and her cheek pressed against the pillow. He smiled slightly and thought once again of the contrast between her and Carol. 

Carol had dark, curly, hair that went down to her shoulders, or maybe a bit further. Joanna had blonde hair, so blonde it was nearly white. And it was sleek, straight, and went half way down her back. Her eyes were like liquid water they were so blue, while Carol's eyes had been hazel with pretty flecks of brown around the pupil. Joanna was slightly shorter than Carol and her body was somewhat more angular. Like her sharp cheekbones. Her voice was more feminine than Carol's husky one. Personality-wise, Joanna was shyer and quieter than Carol but was very animated once you got to know her. She didn't have quite as many mood swings as Carol had once had. While Carol had been a nurse in the ER, Joanna was a doctor on the pedes floor at County. Joanna was completely different than Carol and Doug supposed maybe that was why she had caught his eye in the first place because he needed a change. Something to keep his mind off of Carol. 

It hadn't worked, but he had come to care greatly for Joanna. He could never love her as much as he loved Carol, he had figured out, but he did love her. Although sometimes he wondered if he was cheating her because he often thought of Carol while he was with her. He was just glad that he had done the right thing and told Joanna about Carol. She knew everything and hadn't even thought about leaving Doug because she knew that he was a changed man and her personality automatically gave him a chance. 

Doug shook himself out of his thoughts and reached out, tucking a long strand of hair behind Joanna's ear. He slid closer to her and rubbed his hand along her back. 

"Jo, baby, wake up." Doug whispered into her ear, rubbing his lips against it. She sighed and shifted. He kissed the spot directly behind her ear. "Jo." He murmured. 

"Hey." She whispered beneath him. He smiled and backed away, meeting her blue gaze with one of his own. 

"Good morning." He said. She turned onto her back and smiled up at him. He bent his head and brushed his lips across hers. "Have good night's sleep?" He asked. She nodded. 

"Yeah." She replied and wrapped her arms around his neck. He kissed her again. 

"What time do you have to go in?" He asked. 

"Seven." She replied. 

"Me too." He said. 

"What time is it?" She asked. 

"5:51." He replied. 

"We've got time." She whispered and he chuckled. 

"Yes, we do." He said and slid his body gently over hers. 

::::::::::::::: 

"What have we got?" Mark asked as a gurney rolled through the doors. One of the paramedics accompanying it replied as Mark, Susan, Chuny, and Haleh moved up to the gurney and began wheeling it down the hall. 

"73-year-old woman, fell down the stairs, possible broken hip. Her vitals are.." And he proceeded to rattle them off and Mark made mental note of them as they continued into an emergency room. Mark looked down at the elderly woman and saw the pain on her face. 

"We're going to help you ma'am. Things will be just fine." Mark reassured her. She nodded. 

"I'm so stupid." She said, her voice thick with pain. "I shouldn't have been carrying that big box down the stairs." She said. Mark smiled gently. 

"Well, we're going to fix you right up." He said. She nodded as the gurney came to a stop in the trauma room. The paramedics left soon afterwards as the rest of the staff began to work on her. Doug pushed the door open and peeked his upper half into the room. 

"Need any help in here?" He asked. Mark shook his head. 

"No, Doug, I think we've got it." Mark replied. Doug nodded and went to turn but the old lady protested. 

"Wait!" She exclaimed. Doug, having heard her exclamation stopped and turned. He gave Mark a puzzled look but continued into the room. Then he recognized the woman. It was Mrs. Barnado, his old landlady. He smiled warmly down at her. 

"Hello Mrs. Barnado, how are you?" He asked. She grinned. 

"I thought that was you, Dr. Ross." She replied. He grinned and took her hand. 

"Yes, it's me." He looked down at her body, wondering what had happened. She smiled and waved her other hand at him, dismissively. 

"I fell down the steps. I must have broken my hip." She said. 

"We won't know until we get the X-Ray, Mrs. Barnado." Mark commented. Doug looked back down at the woman. 

"Anyway, it's been so long since I've talked to you." The chipper old woman said. Doug grinned. 

"Yes, it has been." He said and moved out of the way for one of the nurses, but continued holding her hand. 

"I almost forgot all about them." She said. 

"About what?" He asked, now puzzled and wondering if she was developing Alzheimer's. 

"The letters." She said. His heart skipped. 

"What letters?" He asked. 

"The letters that were sent to your apartment after you left. I never knew how to contact you because I didn't know which hospital you worked at." She paused. "Yes, seven letters have come to your old box, around the same time each year. Around Thanksgiving. Hmm, I can't quite seem to remember who they were from, some woman. A..Catherine, maybe? No, no, that's not it." 

"Carol?" Doug breathed, barely able to supress the anxiety that was suddenly overwhelming him. 

"Yes, that's it!" The woman beamed, glad that he had been able to figure it out. "A Carol Hathaway, I believe. She has sent seven letters, one a year, since right after you moved out of the building." Doug simply stared at her, unsure how to react to this. Carol had contacted him all along. She had..Oh God. He needed to read those letters. "I don't know how long I will be in the hospital. I suppose I could let you get those letters." She said. Doug nodded. 

"I'd appreciate it." He said. She nodded. 

"If you can come and visit me later, I can have my daughter take you." She said. Thank God! Doug thought. 

"That would be helpful." Doug said. She smiled. 

"Come see me later, alright? We'll figure things out then." He said. 

"Okay. Thank you, Mrs. Barnado." 

"You're welcome, Dr. Ross." She smiled at him and he quickly left the room. He made his way to the men's room and leaned against the wall. Carol had contacted him. He wasn't sure whether to be thrilled or scared to read the letters. 

::::::::::::::: 

Doug stepped out of the elevator and sighed deeply. His heart was pounding deeply in his chest. He walked to the desk on the orthopedics floor and smiled at the clerk. She was young and blushed at his attention. 

"Hey, could you tell me which room Mrs. Barnado is in." He said. She nodded. 

"Sure." She replied and looked at something on the desk. "Room 302." She replied. He smiled again. 

"Thank you." He began walking down the hallway and stopped in front of the room. He could see a pregnant woman, through the crack of the door, standing by the bed and holding an old hand, presumably Mrs. Barnado's. He knocked gently and stuck his head in, smiling. 

"Hello." He called. Mrs. Barnado grinned at him. 

"Dr. Ross, come in!" She exclaimed. He walked in and smiled politely at the young pregnant woman standing by the bed. 

"This is my granddaughter, Jezze. My daughter was tied up with her work, so Jezze will be taking you to the building. Is that okay?" She asked. Doug grinned. 

"That's perfectly fine. How are you?" He asked Jezze. She smiled in return. 

"I'm fine, thank you." 

"Jezze, I think you should leave now. I believe Dr. Ross is very anxious to get these letters, am I right?" She asked. Doug ducked his head and smiled. 

"Yes, I am." He replied. She smiled and nodded, understanding. 

"I thought so. Well, Jezze knows where the letters are, so off you go." She ordered. Doug chuckled and Jezze smiled. 

"Ready?" She asked. He nodded. 

"Thanks for doing this." He said. She smiled. 

"It's not a problem. I owe Nana a favor." She smiled warmly at her grandmother. "I'll be back later, Nana. As soon as I take him." She said. The woman waved a hand. 

"No hurry." She replied. Doug chuckled and turned, leaving the room with Jezze by his side. 

::::::::::::::: 

Jezze used her key to open the door to her grandmother's small apartment in the building she owned. 

"How long has your grandmother owned this building?" Doug asked curiously. 

"Well, her and Grandfather bought the building back in '64. Grandfather died 6 years later and Nana has stayed here ever since." Doug nodded, suddenly nervous. His palms were sweating and he wiped them discreetly on his jeans. "Nana told me exactly where she kept the letters, so I should find them easily." Jezze said and made her way to a small desk. She open up the third door down and began rifling through it. "Ah ha!" She exclaimed and pulled out a bundle of letters, bound together with a rubber band. "Exactly where she said they were. Nana has a great memory." Doug resisted the urge to snap up the letters from her hands and tear into them to find out what they said. He smiled politely. 

"Thank you for doing this." He said. She nodded and smiled pretty at him and handed him the small bundle. 

"It's no problem." Doug itched to read the letters but knew he would have to wait until he was alone. 

::::::::::::::: 


	5. Your Memory Will Have to Do Part Five

::::::::::::::: 

October 13-15, 01 

::::::::::::::: 

Takes place like 30 minutes after the last one. 

::::::::::::::: 

Doug sat on the edge of his bed and slowly, with trembling, shaking hands opened the first letter, making sure not to bend the envelope. He took note that Carol was in Ohio. That was where all of the letters had been written from. 

Then he began to read. 

_"Dear Doug, _

I've sat here for hours trying to come up with a way to tell you what happened to me, where I disappeared to. But nothing has come to mind, nothing that I could really say to you. So I'm going to tell you everything, straight from the truth. 

About a month ago, I discovered I was pregnant. It came as a shock to me because I had never expected it. I know that it's probably a huge shock to you, also, and I don't mean to drop this on you this way. The child is yours. I'm not sure how you are going to take this news, so I want you to know that I don't expect anything out of you. I just believe that you have the right to know you are going to become a father. 

I've been staying in Ohio, with my sister, Molly. I got a job at a hospital, working as an ER nurse. I'm going to keep this baby and support it, with or without your help. It will be up to you whether you will be involved in our child's life. 

I just felt you should know. My address is included if you want to contact me. 

Carol" 

Doug sat, taking this all in. He had a child out there somewhere. Oh God. He quickly opened the second letter, needing more. 

::::::::::::::: 

_"Dear Doug, _

I wrote you a letter last year and you didn't try to contact me, so I'm assuming you don't want to know our child. That's alright, but I thought maybe you would still like an update. Or maybe you won't even read this. 

On Thanksgiving I gave birth to our daughters. Twins. Their names are Katherine Elizabeth and Tess Ann. I had some difficulty with their births, but we all got through it fine. That was one month ago. They are growing quickly and sometimes they look so much like you that I can barely believe it. 

I was not going to contact you again because you didn't contact me last year, so I assumed you want nothing to do with our girls. But it's Christmas Day and I thought that maybe you deserve to know about them. 

They are beautiful children and a wonderful gift to me. They will be raised well and if you would like to see them, just write or call. My number and address is below. 

Carol" 

Doug couldn't breath. He had two daughters. Twins. Katherine and Tess. Oh God. They would be five years old now. Just turned five nearly three months ago. He couldn't believe it. He had to continue reading. 

::::::::::::::: 

_"Dear Doug, _

I'm not sure why I am writing to you once again. I guess somewhere deep inside me I will always hope that you will one day want to meet your beautiful daughters. 

Today is their first birthday. I had a small party with my sister, Molly. My other sister, Jackie, couldn't make it out but Ma flew out for their birthday. They are getting so big. Kate is rambunctious. She is the louder one of the two. She takes after you in looks also. She has lighter hair and your brown eyes, but she still has my curls. As does Tess, only hers are darker, like mine. She also has my eyes. Tess is rather shy and is easier to care for then Kate. Kate likes to cause trouble. 

They have grown so much and you've missed out on so much already. I love them beyond belief and that is probably why I am writing to you, in hopes you will want them after all. You know how to contact me. Same as last time. But just in case, I'll leave my address and phone number for you once more. 

Carol" 

Doug swallowed and thought of all the milestones he had missed. All the firsts. It felt like someone was squeezing his heart and soon it would burst with the pain and sorrow he was experiencing over his daughters. 

::::::::::::::: 

_"Dear Doug, _

I'm still holding out hope for you. Somewhat ridiculously, but I'm writing anyway. 

The girls turned two today. Maybe you don't even read these letters, but if you do, I hope you know what you are missing. Our daughters are beautiful. 

They both talk so much now. Kate never closes her mouth and she talks to complete strangers. I'm going to have to watch her closely over these next few years. Tess talks to the people she knows well, but she doesn't open up to strangers at all. I'm going to have trouble with her over these next few years, only in a completely different way then Kate. I'm going to have to make sure Tess gets over her shyness and opens up, or school could be difficult with her. 

I haven't enrolled either of them into a preschool yet, because Molly stays home with her daughter and son and she watches them for me when I am at work. But I'm beginning to think it's time to get them out there, or maybe wait one more year. We'll have to see. 

As usual, ways to contact me are included. 

Carol" 

Doug couldn't believe he was seeing his daughters grow up through letters. He decided right then and there that he would have to find them and let Carol know what had happened. He wanted to see his daughters. Doug momentarily forgot all about his girlfriend of two years, Joanna, who was still at work. 

::::::::::::::: 

_"Dear Doug, _

I don't have my hope left for your replies, but I'm still here, sending these letters. 

I enrolled the girl's into daycare this August. They are adjusting well to it. Kate fit right in, and Tess had a bit of difficulty that first week, but now she is as excited as Kate to go see her new friends at school every day that I take them. I only take them three times a week, though. My sister had a new baby, so when I learned that she would have to take care of her newborn, her other daughter, the twins, and her son when he got home from school, I decided to put the girls in daycare. She still watches them on the other days I work. 

I told the girls about you. They wondered why their friends at school had a daddy and they didn't. So I told them about you and that you lived in Chicago. They're still so young that they didn't know to ask why you weren't there. I wouldn't have been able to answer them anyway. Maybe now that they know about you, you'll like to meet them. 

Anyway, it's the same address and phone number and once again I put it at the bottom for you, just in case. 

Carol" 

Doug swallowed, wondering how his daughters were doing in kindergarten, knowing Carol would have enrolled them by now. He sighed and closed his eyes for a moment, soaking in the hope that he could finally meet his children now that he knew. 

::::::::::::::: 

_"Dear Doug, _

Tess and Kate turned four today. I've enclosed a picture of them, just in case you would like to see them. Maybe seeing them will show you how beautiful, amazing, and real they are. You really should meet them. They need a father. 

Recently, Tess has become somewhat curious about you. I showed both of them a picture of you, and that's what made me think of sending you one of them. For the past few weeks, Tess has wondered more and more about you, asking me a lot of questions. Pre-school has made her more aware of how important a father is to a family and how many little girls have one. She wonders why she doesn't. I've tried to explain it as best as I could to them, but I don't really understand it myself. I could never believe you would be immune to your children. 

I don't know if I'll be writing you anymore letters. Perhaps another, to be sure. We'll see. 

Address and phone number included. 

Carol" 

Doug had felt the picture drop out of the envelope but hadn't looked at it until he had finished the letter. He slowly turned the picture over in his lap and stared at his smiling daughters. 

Oh God, he thought, his hand shaking slightly as he picked the picture up and brought it closer to his face. Kate, God, she looked like him. Tess was Carol's miniature. He wondered if Carol thought of him every time she looked at the girls, especially Kate. They were so beautiful. Doug felt tears well up in his eyes, wishing he hadn't missed so much. 

If only he had known. 

::::::::::::::: 

_"Dear Doug, _

I've decided this will be the last year I write to you. The girls are growing older and I'm going to have to accept that you don't want anything to do with them. 

They turned five today. Both of them finally understand that you will not be in their lives. They love you, because you are their father and they know they are supposed to love their daddy. But they still don't quite understand why you aren't with them. I still don't know how to explain it to them. 

I have finally accepted that you don't want anything to do with them. I wish you the best in life. 

Carol" 

Doug noticed that she didn't write her address or phone number at the bottom of this letter. He held the letters in his hands, all folded up but scattered over his lap. Slowly he gathered the letters into a bundle and closed his eyes, feeling the tears swim in them for the children he didn't know, except through Carol's letters. He knew that he would try that old number now. 

::::::::::::::: 


	6. Your Memory Will Have to Do Part Six

::::::::::::::: 

October 15-19, 01 

::::::::::::::: 

Takes place immediately after the next one. 

::::::::::::::: 

Doug scooted over on the bed and carefully placed each letter back into the appropriate envelope. He knew he would never get rid of those letters, no matter what. If there happened to be a fire, they would be the first things he would save. He slowly opened the small stand beside his side of the bed and placed the letters inside, leaving the picture on top of the stand. Then he shut the door and looked at the telephone. He had memorized the number and held it in his heart, unsure if he should call now. But he knew he had to, he had to know..everything. He had to talk to Carol, maybe even the girls. God. 

With shaky hands, Doug picked up the telephone and dialed the number, hesitating on the last number. He pressed the one and swallowed before lifting the phone to his ear. He waited. Two rings. 

"Hello?" A woman asked. Doug froze, knowing it wasn't Carol. Then he remembered her sister. 

"Is Carol there?" He asked quietly, his heart pounding in his chest. 

"Yeah, hold on a moment." On the other side of the line, Molly smiled and handed the phone to Carol. 

"It's a man!" She said, raising her eyebrows. Carol chuckled. 

"Probably Dr. Ryan. Or a salesman." Carol said. Molly smiled and bent down, picking her 16 month old daughter up off the floor. 

"Hello?" Carol asked. Doug couldn't speak, his throat was as dry as dust. The words wouldn't form. He couldn't believe he was hearing her voice after all these years. Oh God. "Hello?" Carol asked again, wondering if the person had hung up. Slowly Doug spoke. 

"Carol." He said, his voice husky. Her entire world stopped on that one muttered word, her name. And suddenly she could feel her heart slamming into her ribcage with every pounding beat. 

"I...Doug?" She asked quietly, finally finding her voice. She hadn't been expecting this. 

"Yeah." He replied. 

"Oh God. This is..Wow." She managed. He chuckled slightly, nervously, his throat still pasty. "Is it really you?" She asked. 

"Yeah. It's me." He fiddled with the edge of the bedspread. Then Carol remembered that he had not contacted her or their daughter's for five years. Six years if you wanted to include the time she had been pregnant. "I..You deserve to know why I've not called in the past few years." He said and answered her questioning thoughts. He paused and swallowed. "I moved out of that apartment the month after you left. A few days before you sent the first letter. My landlady, Mrs. Barnado, came into the ER this morning with a broken hip. She saved the letters. All seven of them. I just got them today." He said. Carol gasped. He hadn't even known about the girls after all this time? She had never thought of that. She had always just thought he was being irresponsible Doug and didn't care about his children. Oh God. All that he had missed because she hadn't thought.. 

"I am so sorry, Doug. I..I never thought that you hadn't gotten the letters. It didn't occur to me." She said. 

"I.That's okay. God, Carol, we have two children. Girls." He closed his eyes and could imagine his little girls running around, curls bouncing behind them. "I..I've missed so much. They're grown, now. Five years old." He swallowed. "God. So much I've missed." 

"Doug..I.." She stopped, not knowing what to say. 

"What are they like? I mean, besides what you said in the letters." He said. She smiled and took a seat on the couch, aware that her sister had left the room, knowing who had been on the line. 

"Kate is a little taller than Tess. She likes the color orange and chocolate chip cookies. Tess likes blue and is allergic to chocolate. She likes sugar cookies with icing and sprinkles. They share a room in our apartment. It's two bedrooms." 

"You don't live with your sister?" He asked. 

"Oh, no. She was just hear to pick something up. She is keeping Tess, Kate, and her daughters Britney and Lindsay occupied before they go to bed. I asked her to answer the phone." 

"Yeah." Doug replied softly, wishing he could be sitting in that very apartment, across from Carol. Carol smiled slightly. "Can you tell me more?" He asked quietly. 

"They used to like to dress alike, but they have recently rebelled against that and want to be dressed in different outfits. Tess has a stuffed puppy that she takes everywhere with her except school. His name is Blinky. Kate has an imaginary friend named Eddie, who she claims tells her to do things that get her name on the board at school." Doug chuckled and Carol smiled. "I'm assuming she inherited that from you." 

"Probably." He said, gazing at the picture on the desk. 

"Tess is best friends with Britney, Molly's daughter, who is the same age as the twins. Kate makes friends with all the boys at school and doesn't really like Britney at this point in their lives. She's better friends with her older cousin, Tyler, who is seven." Carol paused for a moment. 

"I want to meet the girls." He said. Carol stopped, slightly surprised. 

"Okay." She said. 

"I can fly down sometime soon. Just tell me when and where and I'll come." He said. Carol paused. 

"I..Anytime is fine. I can take off of work whenever." She said. 

"How about the day after tomorrow? I can get off work and come down. I could stay for a couple days, maybe." Doug said. 

"Alright. That's fine." She said. He nodded. 

"Thank you, Carol, for letting me see them. I..If I could go back and change time, I would so I could know them. Jesus." He muttered and pressed his fingers to his eye. 

"I'm sorry that things happened this way. I should have known." She murmured. He shook his head. 

"No." He paused. "Can I call you tomorrow and let you know when my flight will be in, get directions or something?" 

"Sure. That sounds great." Carol replied. 

"Do you work?" He asked. 

"Yeah. Until six." Carol said. 

"I'll call around seven, then." He said. 

"That's fine. If I'm not home, you can leave a message on the answering machine." She said. 

"Okay. Thanks Carol. I'll call you tomorrow, then?" 

"Yeah. Bye Doug." 

"Bye Carol." They both hung up. Doug lifted the picture up and remembered that he would have to tell Joanna about them. 

::::::::::::::: 

Just minutes after Doug got off the phone with Carol, Joanna returned home. Doug was lying on the bed in their bedroom, staring at the picture of the twins, when he heard her come into the house. Seconds later she called to him. 

"Doug?" 

"Up here!" He yelled in reply. He sat up, a bit reluctant that he would have to tell her. He quickly stuck the picture into the drawer beside his bed with the letters and then stood. Joanna walked into the room and smiled at him. 

"Hi." She said. He grinned. 

"Hey Jo." He replied. "How was work?" He asked. She shrugged, slid out of her white lab coat, and threw it onto the bed. 

"Normal. No kids died today!" She said and smiled, knowing that was a big plus for her day. 

"That's good." His eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled. "We need to talk." He said after a short pause. 

"Okay." She said, raising an eyebrow and watching him with a curious look on her face. He walked to her and took her hands into his own hands. She curled her fingers comfortably around his. "Doug?" She asked. He cleared his throat and shuffled on his feet slightly. 

"Do you remember how I told you about Carol Hathaway?" He asked. Doug had told her the entire story, including that he and Carol had had sex right before she left, how hurt he had been when she had left, and how he had felt it was all his fault. Still did, really. 

Joanna knew everything. She nodded, "Yeah, I remember her." Doug nodded shortly. 

"Well..I got some letters from her today." He said. Joanna's brows drew slightly together. "I was at work and my old landlady came in with a broken hip. She told me about these seven letters that had come to the apartment building after I had moved out. They were from Carol. Anyway, Mrs. Barnado's granddaughter took me to the apartment and got the letters for me." He paused. "I read them a little bit ago." He sighed. Joanna studied him seriously, wondering what else there was for him to tell her. Doug looked into her liquid blue eyes and let one of her hands fall from his grasp. He reached up and cupped her cheek in his hand, rubbing his thumb under her left eye. "There was something pretty important in those letters. Something big." He said. 

"Doug, what?" Joanna asked. He tipped his head down for a moment and then met her gaze again. 

"Shortly after Carol left, she discovered she was pregnant." He swallowed as he watched Joanna's eyes widen. "With my child. Well, actually, with my children." Joanna's mouth dropped open. 

"Oh Doug! Children? How many?" She asked. He smiled slightly. 

"Two." He said. 

"How old are they?" She asked. 

"5 now. 5 years and 3 months. They were born on Thanksgiving. November 25th. Girls." He said. "Twin girls. Tess and Kate." He said softly. 

"Doug, that's amazing!" Joanna exclaimed and took his face into her hands. "You have daughters. Oh Doug!" He chuckled and kissed her quickly. 

"You're amazing, you know that?" He said. She grinned. 

"Did you think that I would be upset?" She asked. He nodded. 

"Maybe." He replied. 

"Well, I think it's amazing. Are you going to find them?" She asked. 

"Carol left her phone number in the letters. I called her. I'm going to go meet them the day after tomorrow." He said. 

"Oh, that's great! That's wonderful. You'll have to tell me all about them. What they look like, how they act!" She exclaimed. He chuckled. 

"Carol sent me a picture from their fourth birthday. Want to see?" He asked. 

"Of course!" She said. He withdrew from her embrace and made his way back to his side of the bed. She followed and watched as he opened the door and pulled out the picture. Then she laughed slightly. 

"She looks just like you!" She said, taking the picture into her hands and pointing to Kate. 

"Yeah. That's Kate. The other, Tess, is Carol's mirror image. It's unbelievable how much she looks like her." He said with a smile. 

"They're beautiful girls, Doug." She said. 

"Yeah. I can be held accountable for that." He paused. "But not how they were raised, how they are." His smile turned sad. Joanna placed the picture onto the stand and turned to him, touching his cheek gently. 

"It's not your fault, Doug." She said. His smile faded. 

"Yeah, it is." He said seriously. She shook her head and met his gaze for a moment, then stood on her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around her waist and held on, turning his face into her shoulder and couldn't help but think of Carol. How she used to feel in his arms. Doug quickly shut her out of his mind, knowing it was unfair to Joanna to think of Carol while he was in her arms. It was always unfair. 

::::::::::::::: 

Around seven p.m. the next night, Doug picked up the phone and quickly dialed Carol's number. She picked it up as soon as she heard the second ring, as she had been sitting, waiting by the phone, knowing he was going to call and she could hear his voice. That deep sexy voice rumbling in her ear. God, just the thought of it sent chills down her spine, let alone the real thing her ear. 

"Hey Carol." Doug said. 

"Doug, hi. It's seven already? Wow. The girls have kept me busy since I got home." Carol lied. They were at her sister's house. Doug chuckled. 

"What are they doing?" He asked. 

"I just sent them out the door to go to my sister's. Since it's Friday and they don't have school tomorrow I let them go to spend the night." She said, lying once more. The girls had been at their aunt's since after they got home from school. Carol hadn't even seen them since that morning before she sent them on the bus. But that was besides the point. 

"Do they go there a lot?" He asked. 

"We alternate." Carol said. 

"Hmm. Well, uh, I just called to tell you that I got a flight. I actually leave tonight..er, this morning. Anyway, I'll be there at about ten o'clock a.m. Is that okay?" He asked. 

"Yeah, that's fine. I was planning on picking the girls up at nine. That'll give us a good hour to fight through everything." Doug chuckled. 

"So, uh, how have you been?" He asked, wanting to prolong the conversation. He wasn't quite ready to let her go yet. Carol smiled and felt her insides warm, knowing that he was intentionally keeping her on the line. 

"Good. Busy, with the girls and work, but good." She said. He nodded and rubbed his hand over his thigh. "And you?" She asked after a moment. 

"I've been..good. Well, life's taking a sudden turn for the better now. Wow, Carol. I still..This isn't quite real to me, yet, y'know?" He asked. She smiled. 

"It'll be real when you see how much Kate looks like you." Carol said and laughed slightly. "Every time I look at her, I see you. In a facial expression or just how she says something. And just because she looks like you. When I look at Tess all I see is myself at that age. It's kind of strange how one of them took after one of us so much." Carol said. He chuckled. 

"Genetics." He said. Carol grinned. 

"Let's just hope that they don't take after us exactly!" She said. 

"Oh God, yeah. Let's hope Kate doesn't want to be me." He said. 

"Or Tess me." She said. They both smiled, basking in the happiness they felt just by talking to each other, like old times. After a short silence, Doug cleared his throat. 

"I, uh, I better go. I need to finish packing. If it's okay with you, I'll just stay one night. I'll leave late Sunday night." He said. 

"That's fine. Then the girls will be able to go to school without Kate begging me to stay home with her dad. I know that's just what she'd try." Doug chuckled. 

"She's definitely my daughter." Carol laughed. "Anyway, I need directions to your house." He said. 

"Oh, right. Got anything to write on?" She asked. 

"Yes, I do. Go ahead." He said. She rattled off directions carefully while Doug jotted them down. 

"Got them?" She asked. 

"Yeah. So..I'll see you tomorrow morning, then?" Doug asked. 

"Yeah." Carol replied. 

"Ten o'clock." Doug said. 

"Ten. Alright. See you then." Carol said. 

"Bye Carol." They both paused and then reluctantly placed their phones back onto the receivers and smiled. 

::::::::::::::: 


	7. Your Memory Will Have to Do Part Seven

::::::::::::::: 

October 20, 2001-May 13, 2002 

::::::::::::::: 

This takes place the day after the last one. The morning after, around ten a.m. 

::::::::::::::: 

Doug swallowed nervously and lifted his hand, balling it into a fist. He hesitated slightly before laying his hand onto the door and knocking loudly. Then he waited, his stomach churning with a nervousness that he couldn't squelch. 

Then Doug heard Carol's voice through the door. He could barely make out what she was saying, but he could tell she was talking to someone on the other side of the wood. He strained to hear. 

"Turn the lock. There ya go. Okay, you can open it." He heard. The door was slowly pulled open and Doug looked straight into the eyes of his youngest daughter. Kate smiled up at him. 

"Hello." She said. He grinned, looking at her in awe, amazed by how adorable she truly was. Love washed over him and he swallowed the lump in his throat, forcing words out of his mouth. 

"Hi." He replied. Then he glanced up and met Carol's gaze. His heart lodged in his throat at the sight of her. She was so beautiful and the sight of her sent a shock through his entire system and he felt explosions go off in his head. For a moment he forgot himself. 

"Hey Carol." He finally said. She nodded. 

"Come on in. Kate." Carol said and placed a hand on her daughter's shoulder. Kate moved back and stepped out of Doug's way. Doug picked up his duffel bag and walked into the house. He immediately spotted Tess standing beside the couch, watching him carefully. Carol closed the door behind him and turned to watch. 

"Hello." He said softly to her. She stared at him for a few seconds. 

"Hi." She said quietly, so softly that he barely caught it. Then Doug looked down when he felt a gentle tug on his jeans. Kate was staring up at him. Doug smiled and crouched down, his knees cracking as he went. His face was now level with hers, making him able to study her every feature closely. 

"I'm Kate." She said. He smiled. 

"I know." He said. 

"Mommy says you're my daddy." Kate said. He glanced up at Carol who smiled slightly. He looked back at Kate. 

"Yes, I'm your father." He said, subtly avoiding the word daddy, knowing he didn't deserve the title. Kate nodded. 

"Can I call you my daddy?" She asked quietly. Doug grinned slightly. 

"If you want to." He said. She nodded. 

"Okay, Daddy." She said, testing it out. She decided she liked it and grinned. Then she stepped toward him and touched his face. He watched her as she ran her small fingers over his cheek. Then she reached out with her other hand and pushed his cheeks together, making his lips pucker. She giggled. He laughed slightly and reached up, placing his hands on her waist to keep his balance. She pulled his cheeks down, causing his eyes to stretch. She laughed and Doug chuckled again. Carol watched, smiling. Tess watched from a distance, not surprised by her sister's acts but she herself was still unsure of this man who was her father. 

Then Kate's hands smoothed his face back into place and she studied him. 

"You're pretty." She decided. Carol laughed at this, amazed at the things her youngest daughter said. Doug chuckled. 

"You're prettier." He said. Kate grinned at this and stepped forward, wrapping her arms firmly around his neck and hugging him. She turned her little face into his neck and took a deep breath, smelling this man that she already loved so innocently. Despite how young she acted, she would always remember this moment, for the rest of her life, remembering how her father had smelled and looked when she had first met him. 

Doug held her, knowing that he himself would commit every detail of this day to his memory and carry it with him everywhere for the rest of all time. Doug closed his eyes briefly and felt the love for his daughter rush over him and swamp him in its wake. He would never forget this, not even if he grew old and got Alzheimer's. 

When he opened his eyes, he looked up at Carol, who was staring at the two of them with tears in her eyes. She smiled at him and he smiled back up at her, gently pulling Kate away. Kate grinned and stepped back, just as Tess came up to him. He smiled slightly at her, knowing she was going to be harder to convince. 

"Hey." He murmured. Tess watched him. 

"If you're my dad, why haven't I ever seen you before?" She asked. Doug cleared his throat and shifted on the balls of his feet. He glanced up at Carol and then back at Tess. 

"Because I didn't know that I had any daughters until the day before yesterday." Doug said quietly. 

"Why?" Tess asked. Doug ticked his head to the side and glanced down for a moment. 

"I don't really know why, Tess." Doug knew he would never be able to explain the mix-up with the letters to a five-year-old. "That's just the way things happened." He finally said. She nodded and glanced up at her mother, as if for confirmation. Carol smiled slightly. Tess looked back at Doug. 

Slowly, she stepped forward and placed her small hand on his cheek. He felt relief, hoping this was a good sign, but he wasn't quite sure if he should rejoice in it just yet. Tess' hands traveled over his face, much like Kate's had. Except Tess was serious, as if he was a specimen she was to study with great detail, while Kate had used his face like play-doh, laughing over it. 

"Can I hug you?" Tess asked softly, staring into his eyes, making him feel slightly off balance. How was it that his five-year-old daughter could make him feel self-conscious? 

"Of course." Doug murmured. She slowly wrapped her arms around his neck and stepped forward. He wrapped his arms around her tiny body and held her against him, falling in love more and more with his girls. Doug glanced at Carol and smiled. Then he looked at Kate and reached out to her with an arm. She grinned a grin that matched his own and walked into his embrace, holding onto him. Doug hugged his two daughters and looked up at Carol, love shining over his face. Carol watched it all but ooze out of him. She smiled warmly at him, able to see that he had changed so much. 

Doug was leaner, more muscular. His hair was becoming gray which made him even sexier. Age had made him more handsome. She could also see that he had changed other than that. He was more open with his emotions and seemed less restless. As if he knew where he belonged, with his daughters. Carol could tell that he already loved them so much. 

She watched them, tears welling up in her eyes, love running through her and for a moment she forgot that he would be leaving the next night. 

::::::::::::::: 

Later that night, after they had put the girls to bed, Doug and Carol sat in the kitchen, drinking coffee. 

"They're beautiful, Carol." Doug wrapped his hand around the coffee mug. "I cannot believe they are mine." He said, wonder shining in his eyes. 

"Yeah, well, all you have to do is look at Kate and you can believe it." She said. He nodded and met her gaze. 

"I'm sorry that I haven't been here since they were born. I'm sorry I didn't know." Doug apologized quietly. 

"It's not your fault." Carol looked down into her coffee. "Part of it's mine. I should have figured you would have moved since you didn't reply." She said. He smiled slightly, a bit ironically. 

"But you figured that I wasn't taking responsibility and that I was the same old jerk." He said. She smiled a bit. 

"I'm sorry." She murmured. 

"That's okay. I can understand why…I wasn't exactly reliable when you lived in Chicago. The last time we…..saw each other, I didn't leave a very good impression when I left." He said as she watched him. He looked up and met her gaze. "But I've changed." He paused. "Once you left, I was determined to change. I knew that I had hurt you and I was sick and tired of myself. I hated myself. I was at my lowest low. So…" He sighed. "I stopped drinking and womanizing. I've been with the same woman for the past two years." He said, somewhat painfully as he looked at her. Her gaze dropped at his words. He sighed inwardly. "I'm now the Pediatric Attending in the ER. I run the whole pedes section of the ER with the help of only Jeannie." Doug said proudly. He would always be proud of what he had done in the ER and nobody could take that pride away from him. 

"And I'm ready to take full responsibility for everything. I want to know the girls. I want to support them. I know that we live far apart, but I was hoping you would let me come up and see them once a month, at least. And that I could call them sometimes." Doug said quickly, partly pleading with Carol. She looked up and met his gaze before she nodded. 

"Okay. I'm not going to keep you from them. That's why I wrote to you. I want you to know them. I want them to know you. They already love you." She said. 

"And I love them." Doug replied immediately. Carol smiled. 

"I know. Therefore, I can't deny you them or them you. I wouldn't want to." She said. He nodded. 

"Thank you. I promise to be there for them whenever I can. I won't let them down. I won't let you down." He said. She smiled. 

"Thank you." 

::::::::::::::: 

Doug sat on the plane going back to Chicago with his head in his hand. His eyes were closed and he felt the beginning of a headache coming on. There was so much to think about. He didn't want to live so far away from the girls or from Carol. He had found out that there was a job opening for a pediatric doctor in the ER where Carol worked and he was contemplating applying. There was only two problems to that situation. 

First of all, he didn't want to leave his job. He loved the position he held and what he did for the hospital. He didn't want to become a regular pedes ER doctor with no responsibilities again. He didn't want to leave. But he knew his daughters were more important that any job could be. 

Secondly there was Jo. He loved her and didn't want to hurt her..But he knew he still loved Carol and always would. She was his soul mate. He would never love anyone the way he loved her. He cared for Joanna, but Carol was the one for him. And even if he did move to Ohio to be with the girls and Carol, that didn't mean she'd let him come running back to her open arms. He had hurt her numerous times and she may not trust him, no matter how much she thought he had changed. But if he never moved to Ohio just to give it a try, he would always wonder for the rest of his life how it could have been. And he didn't think he could stay away from his daughters, even if he tried, because he now knew what he had missed and didn't want to miss a single second more. 

::::::::::::::: 

Doug arrived home at two in the morning. He walked slowly up the stairs and made his way into the bedroom. He tried to undress quietly but when he slipped into bed, he felt Joanna move closer to him on the bed. 

"Were they wonderful?" She asked. He chuckled and reached over to turn the light on beside the bed. 

"Yes, they were fantastic. They're beautiful." He said. She smiled. 

"What are they like?" She asked. 

"Kate is amazing. She's really talkative and funny for a five-year-old. She doesn't ask as many questions as Tess though. Tess wanted to know everything. She is so beautiful. Both of them are. Tess looks so much like Carol that I cannot believe it. Kate looks so much like me and she makes them seem so much more real because you can tell she is my daughter. I just wanted to pack them both up in a bag and bring them home with me." Doug said. Joanna smiled. 

"That must be so great." She said. 

"What? He asked. 

"To have two beautiful daughters." Joanna replied. He smiled. 

"It is. It's amazing." He said and laid his head against the pillow. "I still can't believe it." He said. Joanna snuggled up to his side. 

"How was Carol?" She asked. Doug peered down at her. 

"What do you mean?" He asked. Joanna smiled. 

"Doug, you loved her once upon a time. Or maybe you still do." Doug watched her silently, unsure how to reply to her. "How was it seeing her?" Joanna looked up at him. "Honestly." Doug looked up at the ceiling and sighed a bit. 

"She's just as I remembered her." He said quietly and was silent. Joanna laid her cheek against Doug's chest and wondered if he loved Carol more than he loved her. 

::::::::::::::: 

Two days later after Doug gave much thought to moving to Ohio, he decided to go. He loved his work and he loved Joanna, but Carol and the girls were more important to him than anything else ever would be. He would make those adjustments if that's what it took to get his family. 

He picked up the phone and dialed the long number to Carol's apartment. She picked it up after the third ring. 

"Hello?" She asked quickly, as if she were in a hurry. 

"Carol, it's me." Doug replied. 

"Oh, hi. Sorry it took so long to get the phone. The girls and I were just coming home from the grocery store." She said. 

"Oh, that's alright." He said and she nodded. 

"So, what's up?" She asked. 

"I was just calling to check up on the girls." Doug said. Carol nodded. 

"Do you want to talk to them while I unload groceries?" She asked. 

"Yeah, sure." He replied. 

"Hold on a minute." She answered and called for the twins. Seconds later Doug heard Kate's voice coming through the receiver. They talked for a few minutes before Doug could hear Carol telling Kate that it was Tess' turn to talk. Kate said her goodbyes and put Tess on the phone. Tess was a little less talkative than Kate had been, but he managed to keep her interested for a few minutes. Finally Carol got back on the line. 

"Hey." She said. 

"Hello." He replied. 

"Tess doesn't like talking on the phone very much." Carol said. 

"Yeah, well, she's not quite as comfortable with me as Kate is." Doug said, a little bit regretfully. 

"She will be in time." Carol murmured softly, trying to reassure him. He nodded a bit and cleared his throat. 

"Yeah. Well, uh, actually I wanted to talk to you about something else." Doug said. 

"Okay." Carol replied. 

"I…Well, to put it simply, my life has changed. Drastically. For years I've wondered where you went, but I never even thought of the possibility that you had given birth to my child, children. But now that I have found out and I have met the girls and realized what it is to be a father, I know that I can't stay away from them. I want to be able to see them whenever I want. I want to move to Ohio to be near you three." He said. 

"Doug.." 

"Wait, I'm not finished. I don't want to fight you for custody or anything like that, but I do hope that we can work out some sort of agreement ourselves. I know you may not trust me yet, but I want to know our girls. I can't leave here without them." He said, finally finished. 

"Doug, I've been thinking about it a lot lately. You told me that you are a Pediatric Attending now and you run a pedes section in the ER. Doug, that's great! And…Well, frankly, you said you have a girlfriend who you've been seeing for two years now. That's serious, Doug." Carol said with some difficulty. 

"Carol.." 

"Now wait, I'm not finished." She said, cutting in. "You have a life in Chicago, an important one at that. There are lots of nursing positions open at hospitals everywhere. I can do what I do here in Ohio back in Chicago somewhere." 

"No, Carol, I couldn't ask you to do that." 

"I don't have much of a life here. I just have the girls, my job, and my sister. The girls can come with me, my job isn't important, and my sister can live without me. I miss Chicago. Ohio isn't the same. Chicago is my home. Ma is there. The girls hardly ever get to see her and I know they would love to be near her." 

"But what about their schooling and their friends?" Doug argued. 

"They'll miss their cousins, but they're young. Adjusting to a new school wouldn't be difficult. Even Tess has no trouble making friends at school. I just think that it would be all around better for all of us if we came to Chicago. That way you could keep your job and your girlfriend. The girls and I can adjust." 

"I, Carol, I don't know what to say." He said. 

"Why?" 

"That's a big move for the three of you. I don't feel right asking you to do that." 

"You never asked, plus it'll be good for us. I want the girls to grow up where I grew up. I miss Chicago." 

"Carol, are you sure?" He asked. 

"I'm positive." She replied. 

"I…I guess that would be okay then." He said. She laughed and he basked in the sound of it. 

"You guess?" She asked. He chuckled lowly. 

"Yeah. I guess." He said. 

"Well good, 'cause we are coming." Carol said. 

"When?" He asked. 

"I'll have us ready before two weeks is up." She said. 

"That soon?" He asked. 

"I really miss Chicago." She said and they both laughed. 

"Okay, if that's what you want." 

"It's what I want." She replied. 

::::::::::::::: 


	8. Your Memory Will Have to Do Part Eight

::::::::::::::: 

May 14th, 2002-January 6th, 2003 

::::::::::::::: 

This chapter takes place the same night that the last one ended. Time skips around in this story, so don't get confused. 

When I tried to calculate what time this would be in ER time, I came up with Season 7. So whatever cast members were in season 7, are the ones that are in this story. Except one of the cast changes I made is that Jeanie is still in Chicago. 

::::::::::::::: 

The same night that Carol told Doug that she and the twins were going to move back to Chicago, Doug was waiting for his girlfriend to get home. Jo was at work and Doug was a little nervous about telling her about Carol. He knew the way Jo was and he knew she would never say anything about it to his face, but he didn't think she'd be very happy about the girls moving. She'd be happy about his daughters, he thought, but he didn't think she'd be very thrilled with the prospect of Carol living closer, when it was almost clear to him that Jo thought he loved Carol still. 

And how was he supposed to respond to that? If she knew, there was no way he could lie to her about it. He loved her, he really did, but he couldn't help but love Carol more. He always had loved her, even if it had taken her leaving for him to realize it. He waited on the couch, watching a basketball game but not really seeing it as he thought of ways to tell Jo. 

Even as he invented ways in his head, he knew that he'd have to come right out and tell her. Then he'd just have to wait for her reaction. Just as he realized that was what he would have to do, he heard Jo's key in the lock. Moments later he saw her face through the long blonde hair and he saw her smile. 

"Hey." She said. He smiled. 

"Hey Jo." He replied. 

"Whatcha watchin'?" She asked and turned toward the television. 

"Oh, basketball." He said and flipped it off. 

"You could've left it on." She said and looked at him as she placed her things on the back of the couch. 

"No, I uh, I wanted to talk to you about something." He said and took a hold of her hand and led her around the couch. 

"About what?" She asked. 

"Uh, Carol and the twins." He said. 

"Oh." She said as she took a seat. She wondered what could be so important that it was making him nervous. She could feel it. 

"Yeah, uh, I called her earlier so I could talk to the girls." He said. She nodded but didn't say a word. "Well...I guess I should start from the beginning. The past couple of days I realized that I can't stay away from my daughters. They are my life now, they're everything." He said. Jo swallowed, suddenly nervous herself. "I called Carol to talk to the girls and also to tell her that I was moving to Ohio." Jo froze and tried to process what he'd said in her mind. But it was stuck. He's leaving, she kept thinking, over and over. 

"Okay." She finally managed to squeeze out. 

"But," Doug paused, "Carol said no." Jo wanted to let out a whoosh of breath, but she figured that would be too obvious. So she let it out slowly and cautiously. "She thinks that my job is more important and she doesn't want me to have to leave it. So...She decided she's going to move back to Chicago with the girls." Jo didn't know what to say. How did she feel about that? She was thrilled that Doug would get his girls. She loved children, obviously being a doctor for them, and had hoped she could have her own soon, and she knew how Doug felt about kids and knew he loved his daughters already. But she didn't know how to feel about Carol being there. Jo knew that he loved Carol, she'd never openly asked him if he loved Carol more than he loved her, but she knew deep down. And if Carol was there, what would that mean for her and Doug's relationship? Would it all fall to pieces? Or did he really truly love her and not Carol and she was just absolutely mistaken? 

But no, Jo knew she held false hope in that regard. Even she could see the passionate love Doug held in his eyes every time he even thought of Carol, let alone spoke of her. 

"Jo?" Doug finally asked. Jo forced a smile. 

"That's...great, Doug. You'll get to see your daughters all the time, instead of once a month or less." She said. He chuckled. 

"I know. I'm so happy." He said. She smiled a bit more truthfully this time, but she still held back because of a woman she had never even met. Because of the woman who held the heart of the man she loved. 

"I'm happy for you." She said. He smiled sadly and squeezed her hand. 

"I know that you're worried, but Jo, being with my daughters isn't going to keep me away from you. I love you and this doesn't change that." He said. She nodded and leaned over to hug him. 

"I didn't think it would." She lied softly into his ear. He hugged her gently, knowing she didn't believe that and he didn't really believe it himself. 

::::::::::::::: 

Nearly two weeks later, Doug got a call at home. He reached over and picked up the ringing telephone. 

"Hello?" He asked into the receiver. 

"Hey Doug." 

"Oh, hey Carol." He replied. He was glad Jo was working, or else he'd have to feel guilty just for talking to Carol. "What's up?" He asked. 

"We're here!" She said quickly. 

"What?" He asked. 

"We're in Chicago." She replied. 

"Now?" He asked. She laughed. 

"Yeah, our plane got in about two hours ago." She said. 

"Why didn't you tell me you had a flight? I'd have come and got you!" He said. 

"Did you have to work?" She asked. He paused. 

"Well, yeah.." 

"Therefore I got us a taxi. Besides, the girls were thrilled. They never got to ride in a taxi before. The only thing they've ever ridden in is ordinary cars and school buses. They were happy." She said. He chuckled. 

"Wait until we introduce them to the El. If they are true Chicagoians, they'll love it." He said. She laughed. 

"Oh, probably." 

"Anyway, so where are you exactly?" 

"A hotel." She replied. 

"What hotel? I'll come now." He said. 

"Doug, you don't have to.." She started to argue. 

"I want to see my girls and besides I wasn't doing anything here." 

"What about..." Carol trailed off. 

"What?" Doug asked quietly, knowing her well enough to know she was thinking of the girlfriend he had told her he had. 

"Nevermind. We're staying at just a regular Holiday Inn for a few days so we can get an apartment." Carol said. 

"Carol, that's not.." 

"Yes, Doug, it is." 

"You could stay with us for awhile." He suggested. 

"Doug, they may be your daughters, but believe me, you can't just move in with twins right away and expect to stay sane!" She said and he chuckled. "But seriously Doug, I don't want to intrude that much on your life." 

"Carol, I love the girls. Anything with them wouldn't be an intrusion." He said. 

"But I would be..You know I would be." She said softly and trailed off. 

"Carol, I.." 

"Doug, you don't have to explain. It's not like you were obligated to me or anything. We can't stay with you, not even for a few nights." He sighed. 

"You're right." He said. 

"Aren't I always?" She asked, joking. He smiled. 

"Aren't all women?" She laughed then and he closed his eyes to the sound. He'd never get tired of hearing her deep, womanly laugh. 

"Of course." She replied. 

"Well, which Holiday Inn? I want to come see them now, if that's okay with you." He said. 

"That's fine." She replied and proceeded to tell him which hotel they were staying at. 

"Alright," He said, "I'll be there in about a half hour." 

"That's fine. We'll be waiting." Carol said. 

"See you soon." He replied. 

"Bye." They both hung up the phone and stared at it for a few moments. Then Carol was distracted by the twins and Doug by his urge to go see his girls. He quickly wrote a note for Jo and left the house. 

::::::::::::::: 

Doug had been at the hotel for about a half hour when the girls got distracted by a cartoon on the television. Doug and Carol sat on the two beds that the room provided and talked quietly as one twin sprawled across each of the beds. 

"Where are you going to look for a job?" He asked. 

"Everywhere, I guess." She said. 

"You should talk to Mark about working back at County." Carol stared at him, unsure. She shrugged. 

"I dunno, Doug. I mean...Things have changed. You even said so yourself. Susan is gone. There are so many new people there. Mark is engaged and his fiancée is pregnant, plus she works at the hospital. There are a bunch of new people like....Cleo, and um, what's his name, Dave. And you said Deb came back. Carter, Peter, Jeanie, and Kerry are still there, but there is Luka and Abby who I've never met before. And plus there is a new chief of staff, Romano. Just because Mark promised that I would always have a job at County, doesn't mean it's true." Carol argued. 

"But Mark is still the ER attending, Carol. He still gets some say in what goes and Romano really doesn't care what the hell goes on in the ER." 

"Well that's not possible. How can he be the chief of staff and not care?" Doug chuckled. 

"You haven't met Romano." Carol sighed. 

"I still don't know, Doug." 

"You could always ask, Carol. There's no harm in asking." He paused. "Hey, I have an idea. You should bring the girls into work tomorrow. You can see everybody again and meet all the new people, plus talk to Mark and Kerry about coming back." Carol eyes lit up for a moment at the thought of seeing everybody again. But then she shrugged. 

"I don't know if the ER is the best plus for a set of five-year-olds." She said. He rolled his eyes. 

"Carol, if anything happens to them, they'll already be in the ER. Plus nothing will happen to them, you're just fishing for excuses. Besides, I have the final say. You're coming into work tomorrow." She snorted. 

"Since when do you have the final say?" She asked. He grinned. 

"Since now. That's final." He said. She rolled her eyes but couldn't help but smile. 

::::::::::::::: 

Joanna got off the elevator in the ER and turned the corner to make the way down the hallway towards the admit desk. She needed to consult with Doug on one of his patients that had come through the ER the day before. Just as she was nearing the admit desk, somebody from behind the desk let out a surprised exclamation. 

"Carol!" Jo stopped in her tracks and turned her head to look at the woman walking into the ER with a small girl on each side of her, holding her hands. The woman's face lit up and she grinned. 

"Carter!" She exclaimed back and he came around the desk. He laughed and hugged her quickly. When he stepped back Jeanie was just on his heels. She hugged Carol too and they all smiled warmly. Jo just stood back and watched. 

"We've missed you." Carter said. Carol grinned. 

"I've missed all of you too. And this place." She threw up her hands and looked around. "It's changed but everything is still the same." She said. They all chuckled. Then Carter bent to the ground so that he was eye-level with the twins. Jo finally looked down and nearly gasped. She could tell right away which twin was Kate and which was Tess because Kate's grin was the same as Doug's and both of the girls had Carol's curls. Jo slowly backed away as her eyes traveled back up to Carol's face. 

So this is Carol, she thought. She's gorgeous. I don't have a chance, Jo thought and turned around and headed back to the elevator. She got on, her mind reeling, as she traveled all the way up to the roof. She stepped out into the cold air, and even though it was freezing, she didn't even notice. She made her way to the edge and leaned against it, closing her eyes and taking a deep, refreshing breath. Jo opened her eyes and still all she could see was Carol and the twins. Tears started to form in Joanna's eyes, because she knew that this was the end of her and Doug. It had to be. Jo couldn't stand to be second best, especially not to Doug. He could still work things out with Carol. All she would be was in the way, Jo knew. A tear slid from her eye and she didn't even wipe it away. She just let the rest come. 

::::::::::::::: 

Jo turned the handle on the door and walked into the house. Doug was sitting on the couch, watching television. He looked up when she came in. 

"Hey, where ya been?" He asked. 

"I got caught up with Ben, the nine-year-old cancer patient." She said. He nodded. 

"How are things with him?" Doug asked. 

"He's not getting any better, but he's not getting any worse either. So we're holding out hope." Jo replied. Doug nodded, but he could tell something was on her mind. Something that was bothering her. She took off her jacket and everything quietly before sitting beside him on the couch. He immediately turned the television off, knowing she needed to talk. 

"What's up?" Doug asked. Jo sighed. 

"I saw Carol and the girls today." She said. His body stilled. 

"You did?" 

"I was going down to the ER to ask you something, and she had just come in." Jo said and glanced at him. He nodded slightly. "They're beautiful, Doug." She paused. "All three of them." His eyes searched hers, wondering what was going through her mind. "If I ask you something, do you promise that you will tell me the truth?" He paused, knowing what she was going to ask, but he also knew that she deserved the truth. He nodded. 

"Of course." He said and braced himself. 

"Do you love me?" It wasn't quite the question he expected, but it was close enough. 

"You know I do." He replied. She nodded. 

"But you love her more, don't you?" She asked. Yup, that's the question, Doug thought. He didn't say anything for a few seconds. Her heart sank. 

"I never meant to hurt you." He whispered, without answering because it was obvious that they both knew the answer was yes. 

"I know." She said and he reached over and gripped her hands. 

"I do love you, Jo." He said. She nodded and brought his hands to her cheek. She rubbed her cheek against them. 

"But you love her more and I can't be second best. You know that. You can't ask that of me." He nodded. 

"I know." A tear slid from her eye and he brushed it away. "She's always been the one, Jo, ever since I met her." Jo nodded, understanding. "You'll find somebody else, Jo. Somebody who can love you the way you deserve to be loved. Completely." She closed her eyes and leaned into his hands. "You're beautiful and intelligent. You're one of the greatest people I've ever met, Jo, and you'll get married to someone who will love you forever and you'll have a bundle of beautiful children." Jo smiled, hoping he was right. She opened her eyes and looked at him. "I really am sorry it couldn't be me." Doug said softly as they stared at each other. Then he bent his head and brushed his lips across hers for the last time. 

And it was over. 

::::::::::::::: 

The next day Carol, Doug, and the girls went to a park since Doug had the day off. The girls were climbing on the monkey bars while Doug and Carol sat on a bench and watched them carefully. 

"So," Carol started slowly and cautiously, "what does your girlfriend do for a living?" Doug grinned a bit. 

"Curious George, are we?" He asked. She smiled and bent her head. "Well her name is Joanna, or Jo as everybody called her, and she is a doctor on the pedes floor at County." Carol looked up. 

"Wow." She said. He chuckled. 

"Expecting yet another bimbo?" He asked. She shrugged. 

"Yeah, I guess. A little bit." She said. He nodded seriously this time. 

"Well Jo is far from being a bimbo, but she's not my girlfriend anymore." He said. Carol looked up and met his gaze. 

"What?" She asked. 

"We broke up last night." He said. "Amicably." 

"Was it because of.." He cut her off. 

"It had nothing to do with...well, it did have to do with you three, but it wasn't the way you think." 

"I'm sorry." Carol said, but wasn't quite sure whether she really meant it. 

"What happened has been festering ever since we started dating. This is just the first time it's ever opened up to the both of us and we had to actually face it. It's not your fault." Doug said. Carol nodded. 

"Well, I'm sorry anyway." She said. 

"There's no need to be." He said. She nodded and they both turned to watch the girls. Just as they looked, Tess' hands slipped from the rail and she fell onto her knees in the gravel. She looked shocked for a moment before she started to cry. Doug and Carol immediately jumped up and ran to her. Kate saw what happened and because her big sister was crying, it made her cry too. She sat beside Tess and cried along with her. Doug gently touched Tess' shoulder. 

"Where does it hurt, baby?" 

"My knees." She replied. 

"Can you move them?" He asked. She nodded. 

"I think so." Kate wailed beside her. Doug looked at Carol and Carol nodded. They could both tell Tess wasn't seriously hurt because she was already calming down now that her parents had come to her rescue. Carol scooted over and gathered Kate up into her arms. 

"It's okay, baby, Tessy's fine. See. She can move." Carol whispered to Kate as Doug got Tess onto her butt. Doug began to examine Tess' knees. 

"I think you just scraped them. I don't see any rocks in there." Doug said as Tess sniffled. "Will it feel better if I kiss them?" Doug asked. Tess nodded. 

"Pwease." She said, adopting her feel-sorry-for me baby talk. Doug grinned and bent down and planted a gentle kiss on both knees. 

"There all better." Doug said and stood, pulling Tess up into his arms. "Now you get to show off your scars to all your friends. You can even make up an adventure about climbing through the rain forest fighting wild cats." Doug said. Tess nodded, staring at him. "As long as Kate doesn't tell." Doug said and he and Tess both looked at Kate. She shook her head to indicate that she wouldn't tell. Tess looked back at Doug and he smiled. 

"It burns, Daddy." She whispered. Doug's heart clenched at the word daddy, but he pretended it didn't phase him and he nodded solemnly. "We'll go back to my house and put some magic cream on it to stop the burning and make it heal really fast." He said. Her eyes widened and she nodded. Doug turned to Carol and she nodded too, her heart thudding in her chest. He was a natural at being a daddy, she thought. She could feel her heart slowly tumbling into love with him and she didn't even fight it. Not this time. She just followed him and carried Kate, amazed. 

::::::::::::::: 

By the time they neared his house, Tess and Kate were tired of being carried. They walked a little bit ahead of Doug and Carol, holding hands. Tess was telling Kate how brave they had been and Kate was just nodding, fascinating. Tess was also telling her about the story she was going to tell everybody at school and Kate nodded, growing excited about the story. 

Doug and Carol walked side by side, watching the girls silently. Carol turned toward him and smiled a bit. 

"You did great with her, ya know?" She asked. He nodded. 

"It's my job. Treating kids." He said. Carol nodded. 

"Yeah, it is, but you were in daddy mode then, not doctor mode." She said. He shrugged. 

"She scared me there for a minute." He said. Carol nodded. 

"You're a natural." He glanced at her. 

"Really?" 

"Looks that way to me." She said. He nodded, happy she thought so but unsure about himself, and they fell silent again. As Carol watched her daughters walk and hold hands, she had an incredible urge to reach for Doug's hand too, to make everything complete again, but she knew it wasn't that easy. So she stuck her hands in her pockets and listened to Tess and Kate chattering on. 

::::::::::::::: 

Tess and Doug were in the bathroom, patching up Tess' knees. Carol was down with Kate in the kitchen getting Kate some juice. Tess sat on the edge of the sink, watching Doug. Love swelled in her heart for him and she didn't even realize it. She just couldn't believe her daddy was right in front of her, taking care of her knees. Her knees didn't even hurt that bad, she just wanted him to take care of her. 

"Daddy?" She whispered. He paused and looked up at her, a bit surprised. 

"Yeah?" He asked. 

"Why don't you live with us?" She asked. He finished smoothing out the band-aid and then stood, looking down at her. He didn't know quite how to reply. 

"Well, because.." He paused. "Most mommies and daddies live with each other if they are married. And you're mommy and I aren't married." He said, hoping she would be satisfied with that. But like any other five-year-old, she wasn't. 

"How come?" She asked. 

"Well..." He sighed. "You're supposed to be married if you love each other." 

"You don't love Mommy?" She asked. He nearly chuckled. 

"I do, but we don't love each other the way you have to love each other to be married." He said, lying. He knew he loved her like that, but that wasn't something he could explain to Tess. She nodded and seemed to be satisfied. "Ready?" He asked her. She nodded. "Walk or ride?" He asked. 

"Walk." She said. He nodded and helped her off the sink. They walked to the kitchen where Carol already had a glass of juice ready for Tess. Tess took a seat at the kitchen table beside her sister and across from Carol. 

"There's some coffee being made, I hope you don't mind." Carol said. He shook his head. 

"That's fine." He said and took a seat beside Carol and across from the girls. Carol glanced at him and they could almost read each other's minds. This is what it would be like if we were a family, they both thought and quickly looked away from each other. Just then Tess picked the perfect moment to bring up the topic to her mother. 

"Mommy?" 

"Yes, baby?" 

"Daddy told me that we don't live together because you guys aren't married." Doug lowered his head and couldn't help but grin a little when Carol glanced at him. Kate's attention was immediately sparked by her sister's words. "And he said you aren't married because you don't love each other like that. Daddy says he loves you, but not like that." Tess said and Doug felt heat rising to his cheeks. Leave it to a five-year-old. "Do you love Daddy like that?" Tess asked innocently. Carol felt heat rising to her own cheeks. 

"I love him, but not like that." Carol said cautiously, hoping her daughter would be satisfied. Tess was, but now Kate wasn't. 

"If you both love each other, how come it isn't like that?" Kate asked. Doug choked through a chuckle, pretending to cough. Carol glanced at him, not knowing what to say. Neither of them would confess, especially in front of their children, that they did love each other like that. 

"It's just not, baby, now drink your juice." Carol said and got up from the table. "Where do you keep your mugs?" She asked Doug. He pointed to a cupboard, hardly able to stop grinning. Carol smiled and rolled her eyes at him before getting two mugs down from the cupboard and pouring the coffee. Doug looked back at the girls who were staring at him and Carol, unsatisfied with the answers their parents had given. Tess looked at Kate. 

"We're going to living room to watch cartoons." She said and tugged on Kate's arm. Kate followed her quickly. Carol sat across from Doug and they grinned. 

"Sorry about that." Doug said. "She just asked me out of the blue why I didn't live with you guys and so I had to say something." 

"It's fine." Carol said and laughed. "It's amazing the things that come out of their mouths." Doug grinned. 

"No kidding." They smiled at each other and then quickly looked away when the moment seemed to become a little too intense. 

Out in the living room the television was on and the screen showed the Rugrats, but Tess and Kate weren't interested. They were sitting on the couch, whispering quietly to each other. 

"I want Daddy to live with us." 

"Me too." Kate replied. 

"I think they do love each other like that." Tess said. Kate nodded. 

"Mmhmm." She replied. 

"I want to live with Daddy." 

"Me too." Kate said again. 

"We have to get them to live with each other. And with us." Tess said, determined. Kate nodded. They sat beside each other, trying to come up with something in their five-year-old minds. 

::::::::::::::: 


	9. Your Memory Will Have to Do Part Nine

::::::::::::::: 

January 6th, 2002 - January 8th, 2002 

::::::::::::::: 

This chapter takes place about right after the last one. 

You know what I just realized? I just realized that if Carol left in Season 1, she never would have met Jeanie. So....Now that I already posted the previous chapter and cannot fix that, I'm just going to say that Jeanie was there from the beginning too. That'll just make everything with the last chapter and this chapter much easier. 

::::::::::::::: 

Tess and Kate headed back into the kitchen where Doug and Carol were finishing up their coffee. 

"Hey." Carol said to the girls. They nod and stand beside the table. 

"We wanna spend the night with Daddy." Tess said. Kate nodded. 

"Well you can't tonight because Daddy has to work in the morning." Carol said. Tess and Kate both looked at Doug. He nodded. 

"Not tonight, girls. But I don't have to work Friday or Saturday. You could spend the day with me Friday and stay the night." He suggested. They nodded. 

"Can we, Mommy, can we?" Kate asked, getting excited. Carol nodded. 

"If that's what you want." 

"Yup!" Kate said happily. 

"We will only spend the night if you do too, Mommy." Tess informed them. Carol glanced at Doug. 

"Girls, I'm sure you can spend the night all by yourself with your father." Carol said. The girls shook their heads. 

"No!" Kate said. "I wanna spend the night with Daddy and Mommy!" She said, putting her hands on her hips and glaring at Carol. 

"It's fine with me, Carol." Doug said. Carol sighed and looked at him. 

"No, it's not fine." Carol said, growing uncomfortable. They were all ganging up on her. 

"Please Mommy." Tess asked quietly, putting on her best puppy dog face. Doug chuckled and tried to disguise it once again for a cough. "Just one night." Tess said. Carol sighed and rolled her eyes. 

"Fine." She muttered. 

"Yay!" The girls yelled and cheered and dashed off to the living room. Doug laughed. 

"They've got you under lock and key." Doug said. Carol glared at him. He lifted his hands. "Hey, truce! They did it, not me." 

"You didn't help any." 

"Is it such a bad thing, spending one night with me?" He asked, becoming somewhat serious. She stared at him, so confused. She didn't know what to say. Instead she just turned and headed into the living room with the girls. Doug watched her go and he sighed. "Apparently so." He whispered and then followed them into the living room. 

::::::::::::::: 

The next night around 9 PM Doug was just arriving home from being at work all day. Just as soon as he walked in the door, the telephone rang. He hurried toward it and picked it up. 

"Hello?" He asked. 

"Hey Doug." He heard Carol's voice on the other end. 

"Oh, hey Carol. What's up?" He asked. 

"Nothing, I just wanted to make plans about what we are doing tomorrow." She said. 

"Alright." 

"I have an interview at County at 4 PM with Romano, Kerry, and Mark." 

"Well good for you!" He said. 

"Yeah, I called Mark and asked him about it and he said that I was hired as long as Romano cleared it. So Romano requested a meeting, probably because of all the buzz that's going on about me, and that's tomorrow at 4." 

"You'll definitely get it." Doug said. 

"I hope so." She replied. "Anyhow, I didn't know what time you wanted me to bring the girls over. Plus I sort of need a babysitter for when I am at the hospital." 

"I'm their father, of course I'll watch them." 

"I know you will, I just wanted to ask you." He nodded. 

"Okay. You can drop them off anytime." 

"How about I just drop them off before my interview." Carol suggested. 

"That's fine by me." He replied. 

"Okay. Well then I'll see you tomorrow at about 3:30 then." 

"Alright. I'll talk to you later, Carol." 

"Bye." She said. 

"Bye." He replied and they hung up. 

::::::::::::::: 

The next day the twins and Doug were sitting in Doug's living room, watching television when Carol arrived home from her interview. Doug looked at her, expectantly, waiting for the good or bad news. Carol didn't say a word, just smiled at them and listened to the girls recount all the adventures they had encountered watching cartoons. Carol listened intently and then just went into the kitchen. Doug looked at her, puzzled. He got up and walked into the kitchen after her. She was pouring herself a glass of water when he went in. 

"So?" He asked. 

"So what?" She asked. He sighed. 

"Carol...the job? Did you get it?" 

"Ohhh, that." She said and smiled at him. 

"Carol..." He said. She laughed. 

"I got it!" She exclaimed, not even touching the water and then she laughed. 

"Woohoo!" Doug shouted and she laughed even more. "So are you head nurse again, or not?" He asked. 

"Well they said that I could go back as just a regular nurse for awhile and if I decided I thought I could take on more, then I could be the head nurse. Haleh is fully willing to give up her position as the head nurse." Carol said. Doug laughed. 

"She bitches about that a lot." He said. Carol smiled. What Doug and Carol didn't know was that Doug's shouting had intrigued the girls. So they had crept up to the kitchen and were peeking around the corner. "C'mon, dance with me!" He said and held out a hand. 

"What?" She asked and just stared at him. He laughed and grabbed her waist and twirled her around. 

"We have reason to celebrate." He said. Laughter began to bubble up inside of her and she just let it loose, not caring right now what happened. He tangoed with her across the kitchen and they both laughed. He twirled her under his arm and she twirled back up against his chest. The girls giggled quietly behind the way, but Doug and Carol were so caught up in the moment that they didn't hear. Then he dipped her back and her curls danced along the floor for a few seconds before he lifted her back up to him. She laughed and leaned against him and he couldn't contain himself any longer. He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. Carol's eyes flew open, but her lips stayed on his. He felt her jolt and he only knew that holding her had led to needing and wanting. She watched his eyes as he kissed her before something inside of her shifted and she realized what was happening. Her eyes slid closed and she sank into him. The heat from his body seeped into hers and melted her. Even though they stood perfectly still, Carol felt like she was tumbling. She lifted her hand to his cheek and touched, always wanting to touch. 

A few moments later, Doug realized that he couldn't continue this or else he'd want even more and they couldn't take more, not now, not yet. He pulled back and she stared up at him, breathless. The girls quietly tiptoed back to the living room. 

"Daddy kissed Mommy." Kate whispered. Tess nodded. 

"Do you think they love each other now? And are gonna get married?" Tess wondered aloud. Kate nodded and Tess nodded back at her. Back in the kitchen Carol was pulling herself out of his arms. 

"Doug, I.." She started but he cut her off. 

"No, Carol, it was my fault. I'm sorry." She nodded. "Why don't we go get the girls and see if they want to go out to dinner to celebrate." He suggested. Carol nodded once more. He smiled quickly and walked to the living room where the girls pretended they hadn't seen anything. 

::::::::::::::: 

For the rest of the night, Doug and Carol didn't talk much to each other. Only when it was polite and needed. But the twins didn't notice. They were just excited because they thought they would all get to live together now. 

When Carol was putting Tess and Kate to bed in Doug's spare bedroom after he had given them bedtime stories, Kate couldn't hold it in any longer. 

"Mommy, are you and Daddy gonna get married and we're all gonna live together?" Kate asked and Carol looked at her. 

"We saw you and Daddy kiss." Tess supplied. Outside the room, Doug stopped just beside the door, having heard Tess' comment. He wanted to hear Carol's reply without her knowing he was there. 

"Girls....I." She stopped. "It's not the simple." She said. 

"Why not?" Tess asked. 

"Your daddy and I just kissed as friends. He was congratulating me on my new job." Carol said, trying to think of something. 

"It didn't look like a friends kiss." Kate said. 

"Yeah, when you kiss Uncle Chuck it's not like that. It's always on the cheek." Tess said. "Uncle Chuck is your friend." 

"Well...Uncle Chuck is a different kind of friend." Carol said, trying to pull something out of her mind that would satisfy the girls, even if they were sort of lies. 

"So we aren't going to live with Daddy, all three of us?" Kate asked. Carol shook her head. 

"No, baby, we aren't." 

"But Mommy, we wanna live with you and Daddy." Tess said, her voice quivering. 

"Yeah." Kate replied, both of them with tears in their eyes. Carol looked at them helplessly. 

"Girls, I'm sorry. I know how much you want us all to live together, but we just can't." 

"Why?" Tess asked, tears streaming down her face. Kate buried her face in her baby blanket, keeping nothing but her eyes peeking out. 

"I.." Carol didn't know what to say. Doug could sense the distress in Carol's voice, so he decided he should go in and rescue her. He walked into the room and they all three looked at him. The girl's with tears in their eyes and on their face, and Carol with stress written all over her face. He sat down beside Carol, squeezing her shoulder gently. 

"What are my little flowers crying for?" He asked. "Where's the sunshine I like to see on your face?" He asked. This made Kate giggle. 

"I'm not a flower, Daddy." Kate said. 

"You are!" Doug insisted. She giggled and shook her head. Tess' tears had stopped, but she wasn't happy. She wouldn't be happy unless she lived with her entire family. Doug looked at Tess and smiled at her. She just looked at him. He glanced at Carol and worry was etched in her brow. He reached out and touched Tess' curls. 

"C'mon, it's time for bed." He said. The two of them tucked the twins in before they left the room and headed downstairs. Carol sat on the couch and just stared. Doug sat beside her and looked at her. 

"You okay?" He asked. She nodded. 

"Yup. I'm fine." 

"They're just kids, Carol. You can't make them understand." 

"I know." She said. 

"I'm sorry." He replied. 

"I'm tired." She said, trying to ignore him. Doug nodded slowly. 

"You can have my bed." He said. 

"I don't want it. I'd rather sleep on the couch." She said, looking him in the eye. He nodded. 

"Okay." He paused. "I'll go get you some blankets." He said and stood up. He headed down the hallway and stopped in front of a closet that he had filled with various items. He pulled out two blankets and two pillows and carried them back to the couch. She took them from him and smiled slightly. 

"Thank you." She said and then began to make her bed. 

"You're welcome." He said and stared at her. Then he sighed quietly. "Goodnight." He said. 

"Night." She said without looking up at him. He nodded briskly and walked up the stairs, away from her and her cold front. He walked into his bedroom and sat on the edge of his bed after shutting his door. He didn't really know what to do. He wanted to live with the girls and Carol and that's what the girls wanted, but he didn't know what Carol wanted. Well, he could pretty much gather that she didn't want to live with him, from what she told the girls, but he wanted to know if that was the truth, or just what she was telling the girls. He sighed and laid back on the bed, too confused to change into pajamas just yet. 

::::::::::::::: 

The next morning the girls had gone into Doug's room and jumped on him to wake him up. He had woken with a surprise, not used to be wakened by a couple of kids. But he thoroughly enjoyed it and tickled them on his bed for awhile. 

"I'm hungry." Kate announced. 

"Well why don't we go downstairs and fix some breakfast." Doug suggested. Kate and Tess nodded. 

"And wake up Mommy." Tess said. Doug nodded. 

"Okay, if you want to." He said. The girls both nodded again. The girl tiptoed quietly down the stairs and into the living room where Carol was sleeping on the couch. Doug followed them quietly. "Wake her up." Doug whispered. Tess shook her head. 

"No, Daddy, you kiss her first." Tess said. Kate giggled and nodded eagerly. 

"Yeah, Daddy, you kiss her first." Doug shook his head, nearly grinning. 

"Girls, I can't do that." He said, even thought he very much wanted to. 

"Why not? You kissed her yesterday." Tess whispered. 

"Yeah, Daddy, it's the same thing." Kate said, urging him on. He chuckled quietly under his breath. 

"Do it, Daddy, please. She'll like it." Tess said. Doug chuckled some more. 

"Okay. Once." He said and walked to the couch. He got down on his knees and looked at the girls. They giggled and nodded. He bent over Carol and shook his head briefly before pressing his lips to hers softly. Then he pulled away. She didn't stir. Kate and Tess sighed. That wasn't the plan. 

"Again." Tess ordered. Doug nearly laughed. 

"Tess.." He said. 

"Again." Kate ordered this time. Doug couldn't help but grin. He sighed and bent over Carol. The girls crept closer. He pressed his lips to Carol's letting them linger. 

Through the fog of sleep, Carol could feel lips on hers. Doug. She immediately knew it was him. She stirred slightly and the girls covered their mouths with their hands and giggled. Carol didn't hear or feel anything but Doug's lips on hers. Then he pulled back. She moaned slightly in her sleep and the girls giggled some more. 

"Again, Daddy, again." Kate said. Doug chuckled and leaned over Carol, capturing her mouth again. Carol pushed back, kissing him, thinking it was all just a dream. Doug nearly moaned now that she was nibbling back against his lips. He had to pull back, so he did. 

"More!" Tess said. Doug laughed. 

"No, girls, she's almost awake now." He said and Carol, finally hearing the girls, turned her head into the pillow, letting the blush she felt rise to her cheeks hide against the pillow. Well, she thought and turned her head towards Doug and the girls, blinking her eyes open. The girls giggled and Doug couldn't help but grin. 

"Morning sleepyhead." He said and he looked so sexy in nothing but his pajama bottoms that she half wished her daughters would disappear somewhere and she could pull him onto the couch and make love to him all day. But that wasn't possible. 

"Hi." She said quietly, her voice somewhat raspy from sleep. 

"Mommy, I'm hungry." Kate said. Doug chuckled. 

"I'll get breakfast started. You stay right where you are." He said and he and the girls went to the kitchen to decide what to do for lunch. Carol turned onto her back and listened to the quiet clatter in the kitchen. She wished that this was how it could always be, only with her waking up in a bed beside Doug. She sighed and shook those thoughts away. That couldn't happen. Why not? she then asked herself. Because it can't, she replied back and sighed. She wasn't sure why, but it just couldn't. She was going to have to talk to Doug about it, too, because he couldn't keep kissing her like that. 

Oh but how she wished he'd never stop. 

::::::::::::::: 

After they had all sat down to breakfast and the girls were now in the living room watching television as Doug and Carol cleaned up, Carol thought now was as good a time as any to talk to him. 

"We need to talk." She said simply. He nodded. 

"Okay." He said. 

"I just wanted to let you know that you can't go on kissing me like that." She said. He stopped and stared at her. Then he swallowed. 

"Alright." He replied, trying not to sound and act hurt. 

"It's just that you're getting the girl's hopes up and we can't do that." 

"Why not?" He asked. 

"Because it'll just break their hearts when we can't live together. You saw how they acted last night." She said. 

"Yes, but why can't we live together?" He asked. 

"First of all we aren't dating." Carol said. 

"And we can't change that?" He asked. She stopped and stared at him. 

"No." 

"Why?" He asked. 

"Because." She said simply. They stared at each other for a few minutes. 

"Would it be that bad?" He asked her. She didn't reply. He put down the dish towel he had been holding and stepped closer to her. She backed up until her lower back was pressed against the counter. 

"Doug." She whispered, seeing the look in his eyes. He walked toward her until his entire body was pressed against hers lightly. She put her hands on his chest, trying to hold him back. His arms slipped around her, drawing her close with a lazy arrogance and then he lowered his head and kissed her, despite the fact that she didn't want him to. Well, that was a lie. She did want him to, she was just scared for him to. With barely any pressure he could melt her knees and make her grip him just so she could stand. Her mind raced with questions of whether this was right or wrong before it clouded over. But a part of himself made him hold back, made him restrain. She wanted him, he could feel that. But even as his blood began to stir and thicken, his hands pulled her away as if of their own will. 

"I know you feel it, don't deny it." He said, staring her deep in the eyes. She shuddered a bit. 

"That doesn't mean it can work." She whispered. He pulled away, pissed. 

"Why not?" He asked, his eyes heated. 

"It didn't work every other time." She said. His eyes flashed with anger and if she could have, she would have backed up farther. 

"I changed my entire life around because of you. And yet you still can't see that." He said. She stood perfectly still, staring at him until he turned on his heel and went into the living, hoping his girls could calm him down. Carol stood in the kitchen, her back still against the counter, completely confused. 

He had changed because of her? But that didn't make any sense. He had been the exact same until after she had left, so how had she changed him? She sighed and brought her hands to her face, trying to rub the worries out of her. 

::::::::::::::: 

On Monday Carol walked into the ER for her first day of work. Carol had enrolled the girls into a new elementary school which they were starting that day. When they got out Helen was going to pick them up and they had decided that that's what they would do every day that Carol had to work. Carol was grateful and Helen was thrilled to death to get to see her granddaughter's every day instead of twice a year as before. 

Everyone was glad to see Carol back and everybody seemed to want to talk to her all day. She liked getting to see her friends again, but the attention was overwhelming. All she wanted to do was work. A little later Carol and Doug were working on a trauma together. 

"We saved that one." Carol said. Doug smiled. 

"Yeah, we did. You did a good job." She grinned at him. 

"What, do you think I can't do my job anymore?" He shook his head. 

"No, I knew you'd do fine." 

"I just hope nobody dies today." Carol said. He nodded. 

"I hope that every day, especially about kids." He said. Carol nodded. 

"I'm hungry. Have you eaten lunch yet?" She asked. Doug shook his head. 

"No, I was about to head to the cafeteria. You wanna come?" He asked. She nodded. 

"That'd be great." She said. They walked to the admit desk and told Randi where they'd be if anybody needed to contact them before they headed up to the cafeteria. They went through the line and got a tray which Doug carried before they took a seat. Carol took her plate and Doug took his and they began to eat their lunch. 

"So, I was thinking." Carol said and took a bite off her fork. Doug looked up at her. 

"Yeah?" He asked. 

"Well, the girls were bothering me all weekend about moving in with you." Carol said. Doug's heart started to pound. "And it's very, very hard to resist those girls, especially when they want something that bad." She paused and watched him, waiting for his reaction. "So I was wondering if you would want to give it a try." She said. 

"Honestly?" He asked. She nodded. 

"Yeah. I haven't found an apartment yet and all of our stuff is in storage, except our clothes. So all we would have to do is clean up the hotel room and we'd be ready." Carol said. Doug stared at her. 

"Why the sudden change of mind?" He asked. She shrugged. 

"I...I don't know really." She paused. "I realized what happened between us happened a long time ago. You may have hurt me then, but you've changed a lot. You love the girls and they love you so much already, even Tess. And I don't want to be the reason why you are kept away from them." She paused again. "And to be completely honest, what I want more than anything in the world is a real family." She said. He reached across the table and squeezed her hand. 

"We can always try." He said. She smiled and nodded. 

"And that's why I changed my mind. To try." 

::::::::::::::: 

Later that night after both Carol and Doug had gotten off work, Carol and the girls had packed up their bags and were moving to Doug's house. When they walked in the door, Doug immediately helped them get settled in. Because it was almost their bedtime, Doug and Carol got the girls ready, even though the girls were never going to go to sleep because they were so excited to be living with both their parents. As soon as Carol and Doug shut out the light and headed downstairs, Tess and Kate began to quietly chatter. 

"We did it, Kate, we did it." Tess said. 

"I know." Kate said and faced her sister. "We're a family." 

"Finally." Tess said and they smiled, snuggling together before closing their eyes. 

Downstairs Carol and Doug were sitting on the couch, talking quietly. 

"We need to buy them some twin beds." Doug said. 

"We have two of them in storage. We can use the same ones." Carol said. Doug nodded. 

"That works. What other stuff do you have in there?" He asked. 

"Standard stuff. Furniture and kitchen utensils and all that. Mostly stuff we don't need right now." Carol said. Doug nodded. 

"Okay. Well we can get their beds and other stuff for their room out tomorrow." Carol nodded. 

"That's fine." 

"Now we need to worry about our sleeping arrangements." Doug said. Carol's head whipped up and she stared at him. He chuckled. 

"What I mean is we only have one other bedroom. But two of us." He paused. Carol stayed absolutely silent. He chuckled. "So what I was thinking is that I could take the couch and you could take the bed. That way you'd be upstairs with the girls, if they needed you." Doug said. Carol shook her head. 

"I can't take your bed." Carol said. He smiled. 

"It's no big deal, I promise. This couch is quite comfortable." He said. Carol said. 

"Look, Doug, it's not so much that...it's just....I don't think I could sleep on your bed...knowing....I.." She stopped. She didn't know how to continue without insulting him. 

"Knowing other women have slept there?" He asked. She let out a breath and her shoulders slumped. 

"Well...yeah." 

"Just to let you know, only two other women have slept there. I've dated two women since you left. One didn't last for very long, only a few months. And I dated Jo for two years." He stopped, waiting for her. 

"Yes, but I already feel like I am to blame for you and Jo's relationship ending and I wouldn't feel right sleeping there." 

"Carol, be reasonable." He said and she looked at him quickly. 

"First of all you weren't the cause of our relationship coming to an end. We both knew that.....it was over." He said, deciding to change what he was going to say. He wasn't ready yet to tell Carol that they ended it because Jo knew he loved Carol more than he loved her. "You and the girls coming was just the catalyst and if it bothers you that much, I'll wash the sheets." Carol sighed. Doug stared at her. "Alright...How about tonight I sleep on the bed and you sleep on the couch. Tomorrow after work I will change the sheets and you can sleep there." 

"That's fine, but I still don't feel right taking your bed away from you when we took over your house." 

"First of all you did not take over my house. Having my daughters and their mother move into my house makes me happy, it doesn't make me feel taken over. I've wanted this all my life, Carol. A family. A stable family. I never had that and I always wanted it." 

"Then why didn't you have that with Jo?" Carol asked, changing the subject back to Jo for a minute. 

"Because she wasn't the right person." He said softly and stared into Carol's eyes. Carol's heart pounded, wondering if she herself was the right one, but she quickly looked away. "I don't want you to sleep on the couch every night and you don't want to take my bed every night, so why don't we just take turns?" He asked. 

"What?" She replied. 

"Every other night we will switch. I'll take it tonight and then you'll have it tomorrow and then we'll switch again. How does that sound?" He asked. She sighed. 

"I suppose that's alright." He laughed. 

"You're so stubborn." He said. 

"Me?" She asked and stared at him. He laughed some more. 

"Yes, you." 

::::::::::::::: 

A week later Carol was at work and Doug had the day off so he was watching the girls since it was a Saturday and they didn't have school. Kate and Tess had just finished breakfast and were now sitting beside Doug on the couch, watching television. Suddenly Kate turned to look at Doug. 

"Daddy?" 

"Yes, Katie dearest?" She grinned and then continued. 

"Why don't you kiss Mommy?" She asked. He chuckled. 

"I guess because your mommy doesn't want me to." He said. 

"How come?" Kate asked. 

"I dunno, baby." 

"She wanted you to the other day." Tess said. Doug shook his head. 

"No, she didn't. I just kissed her anyway." 

"So Mommy didn't like it?" Kate asked. Doug smiled. Well he was pretty sure she liked it, she just didn't want it to happen again. 

"I think she liked it, but it made her sad." 

"Why does it make her sad if she likes it?" Tess asked. "I like Rugrats and it doesn't make me sad. I like Katie and you and Mommy and you don't make me sad. I like sugar cookies, and they don't make me sad." Tess said. Doug laughed and ruffled her hair. 

"Well, it makes her sad because before you guys were even born, I made your mommy really sad. What happened was I kissed her and then I left. It made your mommy sad so she moved to live by your Aunt Molly. And so when I kiss her now, it makes her sad because she remembers when it made her sad before." Doug said, lying only a little. Kate and Tess nodded. "She likes kisses, but since they made her sad once, they make her sad sometimes still." The twins watched him, understanding what he told them, but not really understanding everything that was behind it, that he wasn't telling them. But they turned back to the television, seemingly satisfied with his answer. 

::::::::::::::: 

Later that night when Carol was giving Kate a bath, Kate was still thinking about kisses. 

"Mommy?" 

"Yes, baby?" Carol asked and squeezed the wash cloth out so warm water ran over Kate's back. 

"Does it make you sad when I kiss you?" She asked. Carol grinned. 

"Of course not, Katie, where'd you get that idea?" Kate stayed silent for a moment. 

"This morning I asked Daddy why he doesn't kiss you no more." Carol sucked in her breath. "And Daddy said it's 'cause before we was born, he kissed you and then he left and it made you sad. And so now when he kisses you, it still makes you sad sometimes. So I just wondered if when I kiss you it makes you sad now?" Kate asked, looking up at her mother with big brown eyes. Carol sighed and leaned over the bathtub and kissed Kate quickly on the lips. 

"It doesn't make me sad when you kiss me." Carol rubbed her thumb under Kate's eye. "Or when Tess kisses me." 

"But it does with Daddy." Kate said. Carol smiled briefly. 

"Sometimes, yeah, it does." Carol paused. "But I'll try and work on making it not sad anymore, okay?" She asked. Kate nodded. 

"Okay." 

::::::::::::::: 

Carol and Doug stood in the between the girl's twin beds after they had tucked them in. Carol turned to Doug. 

"C'mere, Doug." She said. He turned towards her. 

"What?" He asked. She stepped toward him and leaned forward, pressing her lips to his. He kissed her for a moment but then pulled back and looked at her with a confused look on his face. The twins stared at them, watching intently. 

"I'm working on not making it sad anymore." She said. Kate's face lit up and she grinned. Doug nodded, wondering how she'd found out. Well obviously one of the girls had told her, but he hadn't known it. Until now. Carol bent down and kissed Tess and then Kate quickly. 

"I love you girls." Doug followed behind her, kissing each twin one last time. 

"I love you both." Doug said. 

"We love you too." Tess and Kate said at the same time. Carol smiled and shut the light off. Doug followed her out and shut the door halfway behind him. They walked downstairs and headed into the kitchen. 

"I didn't know one of them said something to you." Doug said. 

"Yeah, when I gave Kate a bath, she was worried that her kisses made me sad." 

"Oh." Doug said. "I guess my explanation wasn't so great after all." He said. Carol laughed and began to run the hot water for the dishes they hadn't done earlier. 

"So what did you say to them anyway?" 

"Well Kate just asked me why I didn't kiss you anymore and so I said that you didn't want me to. And then Tess wanted to know why you didn't want me to if you did the other day. And I said that you didn't really want me to kiss you the other day, but that I just did." Doug cleared his throat. "So then they thought you didn't like it and I had to explain to them that you did like it, but it just made you said when I kissed you because I kissed you before and it made you sad. And apparently Kate thought that meant it made you sad when they kissed you, not just me." 

"Yeah. She was really worried about it." Carol paused, unsure whether to tell him the rest or not. Then she sighed. Might as well, she thought. "So I told her I would work on making it not sad anymore." She said and glanced up at him. He nodded. 

"So you were putting on a show to make Kate feel better?" He asked. She shrugged. 

"Partly." She murmured. He nodded and began to dry the plate she had just washed. They continued washing dishes in silence until they were completely finished. Carol was drying her hands off and Doug was putting away the last dish. 

"Doug." She whispered, placing the towel down. He turned and looked at her. "I don't think it would make me sad anymore." She said. They stared at each other for a few moments before he reached out a hand. She took it and let him pull her closer until her body was resting against his. He cupped her cheeks in his hands and rubbed his thumbs under her eyes. 

"I'm sorry I ever hurt you." He said. She nodded, accepting it. Then he lowered his head and pressed his lips to hers. She sighed and wrapped her arms around him, holding tightly. For right now she was just going to let herself need him. 

::::::::::::::: 

The next day Doug was at work and he had to run upstairs to consult with Jo on a patient. He got off the elevator and asked the desk clerk where he could find her. She gave him the room number and then he went in that direction, looking through the window at Jo. She glanced up and saw him and smiled briefly before turning back to the patient. He waited outside for a few moments until she finished with her patient. She came out of the room and smiled at him. 

"Hey." She said. He smiled. 

"Hi." 

"What do you need?" She asked. 

"Oh, I just had a question about Carly Michaels, the little girl who came in yesterday with a severe asthma attack." They talked for a few minutes, consulting about the patient and just getting work out of the way. When they were finished Doug began to walk with her. 

"How have you been?" He asked, looking at her tenderly. 

"Good actually." She said. He smiled. 

"Great." 

"How's everything?" She asked him in return. 

"Wonderful. You probably heard that they moved in with me." Jo nodded. 

"Yeah, I did." 

"The twins are wonderful. I honestly cannot believe how much I am enjoying being a father to them. They are like a breath of fresh air every time I see them." He said. Jo smiled. 

"That's why I love kids so much." Jo said. Doug smiled. 

"Yeah, me too, but with your own kids, it's different. You'll find that out." He said. She smiled. 

"I hope so. So how's Carol?" She asked. 

"We're working on things. I dunno how things will end up, but I'm trying." He said. 

"That's great." She smiled then. "I met somebody." She said. His eyes lit up. 

"Who?" He asked, genuinely happy for her. He didn't want her to be alone. 

"Well, he's a patient's father, actually. There was a little girl in here a few days ago who had the flu horribly bad. We had to keep her over night and her father was so worried about her. Anyway, we got to talking late that night and he told me how her mother had left the little girl with him and he had only been 23 years old, but he had gotten through it. And he was just so scared for his daughter, but so strong for her. And then later he asked me out." She said. Doug grinned. 

"That's great." Doug said. She nodded. 

"We've been out twice already and we're going out again tomorrow night." 

"I'm so happy for you, Jo." She smiled. 

"And I'm happy for you." They grinned at each other and talked some more before they parted ways. 

::::::::::::::: 

About a week later Doug and Carol were lying on the couch together after they had put the twins to bed. Carol giggled as Doug ravaged at her neck, and she wrapped her arms around him. He lifted his head and smiled down at her. 

"You....are....so beautiful, to meeeee!" He crooned softly, making her laugh more with his playful song. He chuckled and wrapped her up in his arms before he turned over, pulling her on top of him. She folded her hands underneath her chin and leaned on his chest. He stared at her, stroking his hands through her hair. He couldn't believe how much he loved her. When she was gone, he had realized his love for her and it had never really faded. It had even grown a little even though he never saw her. But now that he was spending his time with her and acting like they were a couple again, he had grown to love her so much he thought his heart would burst with it. But he was so afraid to tell her, afraid she would reject him. So he waited. 

Carol sighed and leaned her cheek against his chest, just listening to his heartbeat. The way he was acting made her so hopeful. She loved him, she knew, but she wasn't really ready to accept it yet. He acted so different then he used to. She had loved him then, but now she got to see what it was like to have a real relationship with him. One where they lived together, had kids together, and where he didn't leave her every night. Even though they hadn't made love yet, she knew he wouldn't leave her if they did, even if it was only because they were already at his home. And she wanted to make love to him, she just didn't want to ask. She wanted to take the next step in their relationship, but at the same time she was so scared that he would turn into the old Doug and leave her and the girls. She didn't think he would really leave their daughters, but she couldn't bear for him to hurt her again. But she still wanted to make love to him. 

Sighing again, Carol lifted her head and looked down at him. He smiled and she felt her heart swell. She slid further up his body until they were mouth to mouth and she turned on her side and he followed her, pressing her back into the couch and making love to her mouth with his own. 

They had been making out heavily for a week now and it was nearly killing him. He wanted her so badly, but wasn't sure if she wanted to go further or not. So he decided to try and take it a little farther and see how she reacted. He slid his hand up the back of her shirt just slightly and stroked his fingers against her lower back. She didn't move, and just continued kissing him. He slid his hand up even farther until he felt her bra strap. He slid his hand underneath it and just kept it there, feeling the soft skin of her back underneath is fingers. She sighed and slid her own hand into the front of his shirt, just feeling the texture of him. He began to kiss down her neck, using his lips, his tongue, and his teeth, all very gently. She moaned and scraped her fingernails against his lower stomach. He shuddered a bit and they moved slightly so that he was lying on top of her and she was underneath him again. They kissed heavily for a little while more until he pulled his head away and leaned his forehead against her shoulder. 

"I want you, Carol." He said, trying to fight it in case she didn't want him back. 

"Let's go upstairs." She whispered. He looked up at her. "Together." She murmured. He smiled quickly and pressed his lips to hers quickly. Then he got up and led her up the stairs. 

::::::::::::::: 


	10. Your Memory Will Have to Do Part Ten

::::::::::::::: 

January 8th-10th, 2002 

::::::::::::::: 

Starts right after last one. 

::::::::::::::: 

When they had finished making love for the first time in just over six years, Doug cradled Carol in his arms. Carol didn't want to fall asleep because even though he had nowhere to go, she was still afraid of waking up without him. Doug chuckled. 

"I think I have teeth marks on my shoulder." He said and glanced down, trying to see. She laughed quietly and brushed her fingers against the marks she had left on his shoulder. 

"I had to be quiet somehow or the girls would wake up and be scared to death." She said. He chuckled and she buried her face into his chest, smiling. 

"Does this bed still bother you?" He asked and looked down at her, grinning. She lifted her face towards his and smiled. 

"Not really, now that we have claimed it as ours." She said. He chuckled and kissed her nose. He pulled away and became somewhat serious. 

"I wanted to ask you something." He said. She nodded, feeling her stomach churn at his seriousness. "I guess it's really not my business, but I uh.....Did you ever sleep with anyone else?" He asked. She stared up at him, not sure how she wanted to answer that. On one hand she felt ashamed, but on the other...it was the truth. 

"No, I didn't." He nodded and felt relieved. "I just...it was hard enough to raise two baby girls all by myself. I didn't have time to look for a boyfriend." She paused. "And when they were a little older and I felt it was okay for me to look again, I just...I couldn't. First of all I didn't really want to have to explain to a set of three-year-olds why I was having a man spend the night and second of all, every time I looked at Kate, I couldn't forget you." She said. Doug bent his head and pressed his lips to hers, letting them linger. Then he pulled away. 

"This may be selfish of me," He said, "But I'm glad." Carol smiled and looked down at her fingers that were splayed across his chest. 

"Did you sleep with anybody besides Jo and the other woman?" She asked quietly, almost sure he had. Doug cleared his throat. 

"No, I didn't." He said. She looked up at him and realized he was telling the truth. "When you left I got drunk off my ass that night, but I didn't take any women home with me. Instead I went to the ER and slept it off. When I woke up Mark gave me a bit of a lecture and I had the entire day to think about everything that had happened. What I did to you, again, and how you left. Then how I went and got drunk. And I realized that I hated myself more than I ever had before because I made you leave. I knew that I couldn't go on living the way I was. So I stopped drinking and stopped womanizing." Carol brushed her fingers against his jaw. 

"Wasn't it hard?" She asked. 

"The drinking part was, because I still hated myself because you had left. And I still wanted to forget. Giving up the women wasn't so hard because you made me realize how much I wanted you and nobody else." Carol shivered and Doug pulled the covers up to their shoulders, even though they both knew she really wasn't cold. "But I also knew if I didn't stop drinking completely, it wouldn't be so hard to refuse the women. So I just stopped everything and didn't go to bars. I moved out of my apartment and bought this place because it needed fixed up and it gave me something to do, to take my mind off things. Those first two years I worked a lot and when I wasn't working I worked on the house. I didn't even get another girlfriend until about two years after you left. I finally felt like I could try to have a relationship with someone. Amy and I only lasted about four months because she was just a ploy to try to get over you. I didn't really care about her as much as I should have. So I ended it. By then I had made it to the point where I could drink again, as long as I did it only socially when I was with other people, like Mark for instance, and I knew my limit." He paused and looked down at her. She just watched him, not judging, so he continued on. 

"After awhile, I got the idea to make a pedes room in the ER. So I started working on that. I threw myself into that and Jeanie helped me. And then when I wasn't looking for romance, there was Jo. Since she was a new doctor at the hospital, we worked a bit together with my pedes wing and her being a pedes doctor. And then it just continued from there." 

"You loved her a lot, didn't you?" Carol asked quietly. He sighed and looked down at her. 

"I did." He paused. "But I knew that I wasn't the one for her. I talked to her the other day and she's already dating somebody new. I'm happy for her." He paused. "You should meet her sometime." Carol remained silent. "I know you don't want to, right now, but I really do think you could be friends. She's a wonderful person, Carol." 

"I don't doubt it." Carol said. Doug nodded. 

"I understand." He said and ran his fingers through her curls. "But I just want you to remember who is here, with me, now. If I had thought staying with her was the best thing, I would have done that. But it wasn't. And you're here, with me. Our girls are in the room beside us. This is how it should be." He said. She stared up at him, and he could read the fear in her eyes. She was worried he was going to say too much. But he knew it would push her away, so he didn't. 

Instead he bent his head and pressed a kiss to her throat. He looked up and glanced at the clock. 

"And it's only 10:03 PM and I'm wide awake, how about you?" He asked. She grinned. 

"I'm not tired a bit." She said. 

"Good." He replied and slid his body over hers once again. She giggled and wrapped her limbs around him, thrilled to just live in the now. 

::::::::::::::: 

The next day Carol went into work a little early, hoping Jeanie would be there. Carol put her things underneath the desk at the admit desk and asked Randi if Jeanie was there. Randi nodded, snapped her gum, and pointed to the exam room. Carol rolled her eyes, but turned and walked to the room. Jeanie was inside talking to a patient. Carol went inside and when Jeanie looked up, Carol motioned that she needed to talk to her. Jeanie nodded and Carol waited outside. Jeanie finished a few moments later and walked out. 

"What's up, Carol?" 

"Could you come with me for a minute?" Carol asked. Jeanie nodded. 

"Sure." She said and followed Carol to the drug lock-up. "What is it?" She asked when Carol closed the door behind them. 

"I just needed to go somewhere private. But uh, well, this is kind of awkward, but I was wondering if you could prescribe me some pills." She said. 

"Of what kind?" Jeanie asked. Carol cleared her throat. 

"Birth control." She said. Jeanie smiled slowly. 

"Ah ha." She said. Carol moaned a little and Jeanie giggled. 

"Yes, I could do that. So does that mean your bopping him?" Jeanie asked. Carol laughed. 

"Jeanie!" She exclaimed. Jeanie laughed. 

"Well...?" Jeanie asked. 

"Twice last night. But you're not allowed to say a word!" Carol warned. 

"Not a peep." Jeanie promised. 

"I mean it." Carol said. Jeanie smiled. 

"Trust me. I never was one for the rumor mill. I promise I won't tell a soul, Carol." 

"Thank you." 

"I'll write the prescription and have it to you by the end of the day." Jeanie said. Carol nodded. 

"Thank you." 

"You're welcome." 

::::::::::::::: 

Over the next week Doug and Carol spent every night in bed together making love once or sometimes twice each night. They would make up a bed on the couch only to have one of them rush down in the morning before the girls woke up to pretend they had slept in it. 

But one night in the middle of the night Kate woke up after having a nightmare. She sat straight up in bed and looked all around her, worried about the boogie man from her dream. She looked at Tess sleeping soundly and knew she had to wake her up. So Kate quickly threw off the covers and dashed onto Tess' bed. Tess woke quickly, jolted away by Kate's jump onto the bed. 

"Kate?" Tess asked. 

"I had a bad dream." Kate said. Tess let her under the covers. 

"About what?" She asked. 

"A monster man." Kate said. Tess and Kate huddled together. "I'm scared still, Tess." 

"Nothings here, Kate." Tess said matter-of-factly, only because her sister was starting to scare her too. 

"How do you know, Tessie?" Kate asked. Tess didn't reply, they only stared at each other in the darkness. "I want mommy and daddy." Kate said. 

"Why don't we go downstairs and get Mommy." Tess suggested. Kate nodded. They climbed out of bed together and held tightly onto each other. They walked quickly out the door and headed down the steps. They stopped halfway though because both of them could see that nobody was on the couch. 

"The man got Mommy." Kate whispered. 

"No." Tess replied, growing scared. "It was a dream, Kate." 

"Let's get Daddy." Kate said. Tess nodded and they dashed back up the stairs and down the hall. They quickly swung the door open to Doug's room and went quickly to the bed, only to find their parents both wrapped up in each other's arms together. 

"Mommy's in here." Tess said quietly. 

"Why?" Kate asked. 

"Maybe she got cold." Tess suggested. Kate nodded, betting that was it. 

"At least the bad man didn't get her." Kate said. The girls crawled onto the bed and shook Doug's shoulder. 

"Daddy." 

"Mommy." Doug and Carol both stirred at the same time and then sort of slid out of each other's arms quickly when they realized they'd been caught. 

"There's a bad man." Kate whispered. 

"Where?" Doug asked sleepily. 

"In her dream." Tess replied. Doug and Carol sighed a bit. They glanced at each other and could only be happy that Carol had put underwear and a t-shirt back on and Doug had his pajama pants on. They had done that every night, just in case the girls were to catch them in bed together. Luckily it had been a good plan. 

"C'mon." Doug said and motioned the girls to get in between them. Both girls crawled over him and snuggled in between their parents. "The bad man was just a dream, Kate, he's not real." Doug said. Kate nodded. 

"Were you cold, Mommy?" Tess asked. 

"What?" Carol asked, slightly confused. 

"Is that why you came to sleep with Daddy, to get warm?" Tess said. Carol and Doug looked at each other and he nearly smiled. 

"Yeah, baby, I was cold." Carol said and soothed Tess' hair down. Both girls curled up and closed their eyes. Within moments they were fast asleep. 

"Close call." Carol said. 

"Hey, at least she came up with her own explanation." Doug said. They both grinned and looked down at their daughters. They soon fell asleep, cozy and happy with their little family all together in one big bed. 

::::::::::::::: 

The next morning all four of them were in the kitchen, eating breakfast before Carol was going to take the girls to school and then follow Doug to work. Tess was eating cereal but her brain was working hard. Finally she looked up at Doug and Carol, her thoughts coming together. 

"Mommy?" 

"Yes?" 

"How come you and Daddy don't sleep together every night like Aunt Molly and Uncle Chuck did?" Doug looked at Carol and raised his eyebrows, grinning. Carol held back a smile and looked at Tess. 

"Well because Aunt Molly and Uncle Chuck were married." 

"But do you get cold at night every night?" Tess asked. Carol looked at Doug. He shrugged. 

"Yeah, I do." Carol said, just in case they got caught again. 

"Do you get cold, Daddy?" Tess asked. Doug nodded, following Carol's lead. 

"Yeah, I guess I do too." He said. 

"Then I think it's okay if you sleep together every night. You don't need to be married." Tess said. Carol and Doug looked at each other and shrugged. 

"Would it bother you two?" Doug finally asked. Kate shook her head. 

"No." Tess replied. Carol shrugged. 

"Okay then. We'll sleep together at night." She said. Tess nodded. 

"Okay." Then she hopped off her chair and went into the living room. Kate soon followed. Then Doug and Carol burst out laughing. 

"I can't believe her." Carol said. 

"Her wheels are always turning." Doug said. Carol smiled. 

"Well at least we don't have to be sneaky anymore." Carol said. He chuckled and pulled her close. 

"Not anymore." He said and began to kiss her neck. 

"Doug.." She said. "We have to go to work." 

"I can't kiss you first?" He asked. 

"Well what if the girls walk in?" She asked. 

"They want us to kiss, remember?" He asked. 

"But you're not...ohhh.." She said. He chuckled against her collarbone. "You're not kissing my lips which is what they think is right." Carol said. 

"Well, I could do that too." He said and traveled back up to her mouth. She sighed and melted into him, at this point not caring whether the girls walked in. Finally she pulled away, putting her hands on his chest as he hands rested on her hips. 

"You're killing me here." She said. He laughed. 

"I'll get more later." He warned playfully and she reached down rubbing her index finger against him through his pants. His eyes widened and he groaned. 

"You're so evil." He said when she pulled away. She glanced at him over her shoulder and grinned. 

"I'll get more later." She said and he couldn't help but chuckle. 

::::::::::::::: 

The next day was Saturday and Helen was keeping the girls for the day and then returning them back home around 7 PM. When Helen stood on the porch with the girls, she happened to glance in the window. Then she did a double take. Doug and Carol were lying on the couch together and he was kissing her and she was giggling. Helen felt her temperature rise. Damn him, she muttered under her breath and knocked on loudly on the door. Within moments the door opened and Doug let them in, smiling at his girls and then Helen. She didn't smile back. 

Uh-oh, he thought and closed the door behind her. 

"Hey girls, did you have fun?" Carol asked them. Kate and Tess grinned. 

"Yeah!" The said and Carol looked up at her mother. Helen gave her a stern look and glanced at Doug. When she looked back at Carol Doug raised his eyebrows. 

"The girls were wonderful." Helen said. 

"Were you?" Carol asked the girl, kidding them. They nodded solemnly. Carol grinned. "Good." 

"I better get going." Helen said. 

"You don't have to leave so soon, Ma." 

"Yes I do." She said stiffly and then turned. Doug opened the door for her and she didn't even look at him as she walked out. Doug shut the door and turned back to Carol. 

"Why don't you girls take your jackets off and go into the kitchen." Carol said. The girls quickly obeyed, hoping they'd get some cookies. "What was that all about?" Carol asked once they disappeared. Doug turned and pointed to the window. 

"I think she saw us." He said. 

"Oh." Carol paused. "Uh-oh." She said. He chuckled. 

"Yeah. That's exactly what I thought." 

"I'm sure I'll hear all about it tomorrow." Carol said and headed to the kitchen to get the girls so milk and cookies for being good for Helen. 

::::::::::::::: 

The next day Carol got off work at five. She headed straight to Helen's house to pick up the girls. When she walked in, the girls were in the living room, watching television and Helen was in the kitchen. Carol gave the girls quick kisses and headed into the kitchen. Helen didn't even say hello. 

"What were you doing last night?" She asked. Carol sighed. 

"Ma, please, give it a rest." Helen whipped around. 

"Why are you doing this to yourself?" Helen asked. "I was shocked enough as it was when you moved in with him, but I understood it was for the girls. You kissing him on the couch was most definitely not for the girls." Helen said. Carol rolled her eyes. 

"No, mother, it wasn't. But it's really none of your business." Carol said. Helen stepped toward Carol. 

"It most certainly is my business. You're my daughter and those girls are my grandchildren. I'm concerned about all of you." 

"Why?" Carol asked. 

"Because of that horrible man!" Helen exclaimed. 

"He's not horrible, Ma! He's the girl's father and he's damn good at it." 

"I can believe that, or else he wouldn't be a pediatrician. But that doesn't mean you had to let him back into your life romantically!" 

"He's changed, Ma." 

"How could you even think of forgiving him? What he did to you was awful. He made you cry, Carol. He hurt you!" 

"But he's different now, Ma!" 

"How do you know that, Carol? He may seem different now, but what about a year from now, six months from now? You don't know what he could do. He could still be the same man he used to be and just hasn't shown it yet. He could hurt you again!" Helen said. 

"Don't you think I don't know that?" Carol asked. 

"Then why, Carol, why would you let him do it again?" 

"I could be hurt by any man, whether it was Doug or not. He's different, Ma, I know it. And if I'm wrong, then I will have to face the consequences.." 

"Again?" 

"Yes, again." 

"That's not smart, Carol. You barely survived last time. Look where it left you!" 

"That's life, Ma. Taking chances. And I'm taking another one. I haven't taken any chances ever since I left Chicago. It's about time I took another." 

"And the entire reason you left Chicago was because you gave that bastard another chance. And you don't take any more chances until he is back in your life again. There's a pattern, here, Carol!" 

"Mommy?" Carol heard a soft voice coming from the doorway. She turned to find Kate and Tess standing close together, holding hands, and staring at the two woman. Carol sighed and went to them. She bent down. 

"It's okay, babies. Are you ready to go home?" She asked. They nodded, stealing glances at their grandmother. Helen rubbed her hand against her forehead and sighed. 

"I'll see you girls tomorrow." She said. 

"Bye grandma." Kate said. 

"Bye." Tess repeated. 

"Bye bye." Helen said. Carol turned and looked at her mother once more. 

"It's my life." She said and ushered the girls out into the foyer to get their coats and shoes on. 

::::::::::::::: 

On the way home from Helen's house, Carol couldn't stop thinking about their argument. What if her mother was right, what if Doug did hurt her again? She really didn't think she could bear it again. Every day they were growing closer and closer and she knew he had changed, but what if she was wrong? What if he was just putting up a facade to get the girl's trust? She knew he would never ever intentionally hurt his daughters, and she knew she wasn't wrong about that, but she couldn't be sure about him handling her heart. He hadn't been good at that in the past, why should it be different now? But he is different, she kept telling herself. But it wasn't working. Her mother's words were repeating over and over in her head and Carol couldn't stop it. 

"Mommy?" Tess asked, bringing Carol out of her daydream-like state. 

"Yes, baby?" Carol asked gently. 

"What's a bastard?" Tess asked. Carol's hands tightened on the wheel. 

"What?" 

"Grandma called Daddy a bastard." Carol sighed. 

"It's a bad name that people give to somebody they don't like." Carol said. 

"Grandma doesn't like Daddy?" 

"No, baby, she doesn't." 

"How come?" Kate asked. 

"Well," Carol paused, "Do you remember when Daddy and I told you that he kissed me that one time and left and so it made the kisses sad?" 

"Yeah." They replied. 

"Well, when he did that, it made Grandma really mad because he had hurt my feelings. Just like it would make me mad if somebody hurt one of your feelings." Carol said. 

"But you're not mad at Daddy anymore, are you?" Tess asked. 

"No, baby, I'm not. Not anymore." She said, wondering if that was a lie now with everything that had been brought to the front of her memory again. 

"Then why is Grandma still?" Kate asked. 

"Because when somebody's little girl gets hurt, it makes the mommy even more mad, even if the girl forgets. Do you understand?" Carol asked. 

"Yeah." They replied softly. 

"And I know Grandma called Daddy a bad name, but I want you to know that he isn't that word." 

"Okay." The girls nodded. 

"And promise me that you won't say that word, okay? It's not nice." Carol said. 

"We promise." The girls both said together. 

"Good girls. Mommy loves you bunches." Carol said. 

"We love you, too." The replied in unison. Carol sighed, troubled. 

::::::::::::::: 

Later that night Carol was downstairs cleaning up the kitchen and Doug was getting the girls into their pajamas after they had finished up taking their bath. He was helping Kate pull on her pink pajama pants when she became curious. 

"Grandma and Mommy had a fight today." Kate said. Doug looked up at her. Tess nodded. 

"About you." Tess said. Doug sighed. 

"Did they?" The girls nodded solemnly. 

"It was scary. Grandma's never yelled before." Kate said. Ha, yeah right, Doug thought but didn't say anything. 

"Grandma called you a bad name." Tess said. 

"Oh. Well, she does that sometimes." He said honestly. 

"Why doesn't she like you?" Kate asked. 

"Mommy said it's because you kissed her and left and it hurt Mommy's feelings and made Grandma mad." 

"Well, yeah, that's why. Grandma is still mad." Doug said. 

"Was Mommy sad?" Kate asked. 

"Yeah, for a long time. I think." 

"You hurt her." Tess said. Doug nodded sadly. 

"Yeah, I did." 

"Did you hit her?" Kate asked. Doug shook his head and didn't realize that his daughters words could hurt him so much. 

"No, I never ever did that." He said. Kate nodded. 

"But your hurt her feelings." She asked. 

"Yeah, I hurt her in her heart and in her mind," He said, pointing at those body parts on Kate, "but I never made her hurt outside. 

"Why did you hurt her heart?" Tess asked. Doug sighed. 

"Because I wasn't very nice back then. And I didn't know sometimes that the things I did made people sad." Tess nodded. 

"You're nice, now." She said. 

"I try to be." He paused. "I want you to know that I would never ever hurt you girls' feelings on purpose, okay?" They both nodded. "Okay, good. I love you." He said. They walked to him and wrapped their arms around him. 

::::::::::::::: 

All throughout the night, Doug could see that Carol's mood had changed since that morning. She was much more serious and he had a feeling that it was because of Helen. Carol didn't say much throughout the night and around 10 PM she told him she was going to bed. 

"I think I'll go with you." He said. She didn't answer him, instead just making her way up the stairs. She had hoped he wouldn't join her, but obviously her luck was running low that day. They changed and got ready for bed, not saying much to each other. Then Carol climbed into bed. Two minutes later Doug climbed in beside her. She had her back turned away from his side of the bed. He wasn't sure whether he should talk to her or not. Maybe she should just think about it for a night or so, Doug thought. But he knew he couldn't go to sleep without saying something. 

"Carol?" 

"Hmm?" She replied. 

"The girl's told me what happened." He said. 

"Mm." She said, half expecting they had, considering he had kept his distance from her ever since the girls' baths. 

"I'm sorry." He said softly, staring at her back. She didn't say anything. "I really am." He turned on his side, putting his back toward hers. Tears filled her eyes, but she held them in. She just needed some time to think. She couldn't get away from Doug or the girls and she just needed some time alone. 

::::::::::::::: 

The next day Carol didn't have to work, but the girls had to go to school. So she got up with them and sent them off to school and kissed Doug goodbye on the cheek quickly. And now she had the house to herself. Whenever she needed to think, cleaning always helped. She could physically work and get something done, while her brain did it's own exercising. She decided to start with the kitchen floor. 

As she sat on the floor scrubbing away, she wasn't sure what to do. Her fight with her mother had obviously upset the girl's, and she didn't know how to fix it for them. But the bigger issue was that she didn't know what to do about Doug. 

Nearly two hours and three rooms later, Carol swept the study with the vacuum cleaner, pushing it hard and fast. She knew that no matter what, she had to live with Doug, for the girls. The only ways she would ever move out was if he wanted her to, the girls wanted them to, or if he hurt her to the point where she couldn't stay with him. And so she knew she would have to get along with Doug or else everything would always be tense. And the way to go on getting along with him was to go on the way they were. It was working out well for everyone. The girls loved seeing their parents together and she and Doug were having fun. She was enjoying every moment with him, soaking up moments for the time she had lost. And he hadn't hurt her yet. So why should she ruin it, if nothing had happened? For all she knew things could work out perfectly. She couldn't give up on him now, just because of something her mother said. If he hurt her later, she'd deal with it then. 

Decision made, Carol stopped pushing the vacuum so hard and smiled. 

::::::::::::::: 

Later that night when Doug got home from work Carol went to him and wrapped her arms around him. 

"I'm sorry about last night." She said. He smiled. 

"It's okay." 

"I just needed to think and straighten some things out in my head." She said. He nodded. 

"I understand." 

"Thank you." She said and kissed him. From their spots on the couch the girls giggled. 

"Mommy and Daddy, sitting in a tree." Kate began to chant in a sing-song voice. Tess giggled and joined in. 

"K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" They shouted. Doug and Carol laughed and kissed again, just to put on a show for the girls. 

::::::::::::::: 

Helen and Carol were in the kitchen, cleaning up after dinner. Carol had just put some leftovers into the refrigerator for Doug, which immediately spurred Helen's anger. 

"Why are you being his maid?" Helen asked. 

"What?" Carol replied, turning around to face her mother. 

"Why are you being his maid?" Helen repeated. 

"This is his house. He lives here. We had leftover food for dinner. I put it in the microwave so he has something to eat. I am not his maid." Carol said slowly, her anger growing. Why couldn't her mom just give it up? 

"And I am sure he could fix his own dinner." Helen said. 

"Mom, it would be a waste of food to throw away the leftovers." Carol said. 

"I bet you clean his house too, don't you?" Helen asked. Carol sighed. 

"Yes, Ma. I do. The three of us barged into his life. Twin five-year-olds make messes. I'm not going to leave them for him to clean up." Carol said. 

"But he should do the cleaning of his own house!" Helen insisted. Carol sighed. 

"He does clean, Ma! You have to remember that he lived here for 6 years by himself. He does half the work now." Carol said. 

"Why are you doing this to yourself, Carol?" 

"Mom, I lived by myself for six years and five of those years I lived with twins. I've learnt to deal with our messes. When I was growing up, I always wanted my father back! I always felt cheated out of a father." Helen sighed, knowing it was the truth. Carol continued. "And when they were growing up, I always wished they had a father. I didn't want them to grow up like me, always wondering. It was the one thing I wanted the most for them. Now they have their father and I have my family. Why is that so hard for you to accept?" Carol asked. What the women didn't know was that Doug was just arriving home for work. He went into the living room, smiling at his girls. They smiled back up at him and told him that Carol and Helen were in the kitchen. He raised his eyebrows. 

"He hurt you!" Helen said. 

"Yes, he did!" Carol said and then lowered her voice. She didn't want to scare the girls again. 

"He is not the kind of man you need in your life." Helen said. Carol sighed. Doug neared the kitchen. 

"He is the father of my children." She said. 

"That doesn't mean you have to take him into your bed!" Helen exclaimed. Doug stepped up to the doorway. 

"I love him, Ma!" Carol said, raising her voice. Helen froze, staring at the door, spotting Doug. Carol immediately turned, thinking it was the girls again. When she saw Doug standing in the doorway, absolutely still and staring at her, her heart plummeted. She hadn't meant for him to hear that. She hadn't meant to say it. All of a sudden a huge grin split across his face. He walked to her and took her face into his hands. 

"I love you too." He said and kissed her firmly and warmly on the lips. Her brain fizzled and she gripped his hips. Then he pulled back, grinned at her and turned around and walked out. Carol stood, staring after him, her heart pounding quickly in her chest. 

The romantic in Helen's heart warmed and puddled, but she immediately gathered her senses and placed her hands on her hips, elbows out. Carol turned around and Helen in the eye. 

"Please don't ruin that for me." Carol said quietly. Then she walked to the sink and gathered up the wash cloth to wipe the table clean. Helen just stood for a moment, watching. Then she breathed deeply, straightened her shoulders, and began to help Carol. 

::::::::::::::: 

All throughout the night after Helen had left, Carol kept smiling at Doug and they would laugh a bit. The girls didn't even notice. Once they put the twins in bed, Carol went straight to Doug's arms. He wrapped her up and laughed against her neck. She pulled his face up to hers and kissed him. 

"I bet your mom shit herself, huh?" He asked. Carol laughed. 

"You should have seen the look on her face." Carol said and leaned her head against his shoulder. "I just told her not to ruin the moment for me and she didn't say another word." She paused. "I'm sorry that it had to come out like that." He chuckled. 

"Carol, I really don't care how it came out. I was thrilled." He said and nuzzled her neck. She smiled. 

"When I first knew you had heard me, I about died. I was scared you didn't feel the same." She said. He smiled. 

"I've loved you since I met you. I didn't realize it until you left, but I never stopped loving you." She brought her head up and she kissed him, smiling. 

"I love you." She said. 

"Say it again." He murmured against her lips. 

"I love you." She said and he kissed her firmly. 

"I love you." He said. They began to laugh and he led her to the couch. "I need to make love you now." He said. She wrapped her arms around him and laid on the couch with him. 

"I'm not arguing." 

"I don't want to go upstairs in case of the girls." 

"They might come downstairs." Carol murmured against his lips. 

"They won't." He said. She laughed. 

"If they do, we'll deal with it then." She said. He chuckled and began to kiss down her neck. 

"Then. I love you, Carol." Her heart swelled. 

"I love you too, Doug." 

::::::::::::::: 

After they had finished making love, they were lying on the couch naked under a blanket, in the darkness. Carol was sprawled across Doug's chest and he was running his fingers through her hair. 

"There's some things we need to talk about." He said. 

"Like what?" She asked. 

"Things I need to tell you. About everything." He said. 

"Okay." She nodded, needing him to tell her. 

"I know that before you moved I was the most unreliable guy around. I know I hurt you when we were dating and I was sorry for it then and I'm still sorry for it now. And I'm sorry that I slept with you that night and then left. I'm mostly sorry for that because it caused you to leave and I missed out on so much with the girls." He paused. "And I know you still have doubts about me." She shook her head, but he placed a finger over her lips. 

"I know you do. Or you wouldn't have been worried about it the other night." He said, referring back to the night when Helen had put doubts and memories back into Carol's head. She sighed. "But I want to make a promise to you here and now. I promise that I will never ever hurt you or the girls intentionally." 

"I know you would never hurt them, Doug." Carol said. 

"I know you know that. But I need you to realize that I will never hurt you again. You have to trust me, Carol, or what we have will never work out. I know I was the biggest bastard I could have been back then. And I'm so sorry for that. But I've changed and I need you to realize it and trust me. And let me love you and have you love me back. I don't want anymore holding back." He said. She scooted up so they were eye to eye. 

"I trust you." She said. He closed his eyes and swallowed. 

"Thank you." He said. She stroked his face. 

"Thank you for coming back into my life." She said and bent down, kissing him tenderly. A tear slid from her eye and he kissed that away. 

"You'll never have to worry ever again, Carol. I love you." 

"I love you too." 

::::::::::::::: 


	11. Epilogue

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January 9th-10th, 2002 

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The last story took place in about February through March-ish. :) Anyhow, so this next chapter takes place in July of the same year. This is technically a prologue, not a chapter, since it's just one big scene. 

::::::::::::::: 

Carol stuffed a piece of wedding cake into Doug's mouth and laughed as she smeared it all over his cheeks. He chuckled and stuffed the piece in his hands into her mouth as they laughed together. Then he leaned over and kissed her, cake and all. Everybody clapped and cheered for them. 

After they had cleaned up Carol turned and looked at everyone there. Everyone was there from the hospital, including Mark and his wife Elizabeth and their baby, Ella. Carol saw both of her sisters and their families, plus her mother. Carol was so glad her mother was there and seeming to be enjoying herself. When Carol and Doug had decided to get married, Carol had sat down and had a talk with Helen and asked Helen to try and be civil toward Doug and accept him. Helen had promised to try and here she was, at their wedding. 

"Carol, c'mere." Doug said and took her hand. Carol followed him, wondering where he was going when she looked over his shoulder and saw his ex-girlfriend Jo standing with some man. Carol's heart skipped for a moment. She and Jo had seen each other a few times in the hospital but had never talked to each other, even though both had sort of wanted to try but had been to nervous about it. Now they were going to meet face to face and have a conversation. Carol was nervous for a minute but she realized it wasn't because she was jealous anymore, but it was because she hoped that she lived up to Jo's expectations and vice versa. Doug pulled Carol up to his side and then reached over, kissing Jo on the cheek. She smiled. 

"Thanks for coming." Doug said. Jo smiled. 

"Of course. You know I wouldn't miss it." She said. 

"I don't think you have been properly introduced." Doug said to Jo and the man. "This is my wife, Carol." Carol glowed and smiled, reaching out to shake hands with Jo and her date. 

"This is my," Jo paused and glanced up at him, smiling, "boyfriend, Brian." She said. Carol looked at the tall, blonde, and very handsome man and smiled. They look perfect together, Carol thought and then glanced at Doug. He was smiling at her. 

"We'll have to get together sometime." Carol said. "Go to dinner or something." 

"That sounds great." Jo said and smiled warmly. Doug wrapped his arm around Carol's waist as a song came on over the speakers. 

"I'm sorry to interrupt but I must take my bride out to the dance floor." He said and pulled Carol with him. She laughed and twirled into his arms. 

"You enjoy calling me your wife and your bride, don't you?" She asked. He chuckled. 

"Of course I do." He said. "I love you, Carol." He said and leaned his cheek against hers. She sighed and shifted closer to him. 

"I love you too, Doug." She paused. "I have a present for you." She said. He pulled back to look her in the eye. 

"What's that?" He asked. She grinned and leaned toward his ear. 

"I'm pregnant." She said and pulled back to watch his reaction. His jaw dropped and his eyes lit up. 

"Really?" He asked. She laughed and nodded. 

"Yes." She said. He let out a loud whoop and picked her up, wedding dress and all and twirled her around. Then he set her back down and kissed her. 

"We have to tell the girls." He said once he pulled away. She nodded. "Right now." 

"Okay!" She said and giggled. Doug turned and spotted the twins. 

"Hey girls!" He said. They turned immediately and smiled at him. "C'mere." They came as quickly as they could, sliding a bit on the dance floor in their panty hose. The shoes they had been wearing had bothered them. Doug bent to the floor and Carol smiled down at them. "Mommy and I have something to tell you." Doug said. The girls nodded. "You have to be quiet about it for a second, okay?" He said. They nodded. Doug looked up at Carol. "You tell them." 

"No, you do it." She said warmly. He grinned. 

"Mommy is going to have a baby. You're going to have a little brother or sister." Doug said. The girl's eyes lit up. 

"When?" Kate asked immediately. Doug laughed. 

"It'll be awhile, but it'll get here in time." 

"I want a brother." Tess immediately announced. 

"That'd be wonderful." Carol said and Doug smiled up at her. 

"Do you want to tell everyone else?" He asked. 

"I don't see why not." Carol said. 

"Well, if you want to wait until after the first trimester." He said, growing serious. 

"Everybody here is people we love. If something happens they'll understand." She said softly. He nodded and smiled. 

"Okay then. Let's have the girls tell them." Doug said. Carol nodded. 

"Mommy, what's a trimester?" Kate whispered. Carol smiled. 

"I'll tell you later." She said and Doug told the girls what to say into the microphone that he got from the DJ. 

"Tess and Kate have something to tell everybody." Doug announced. Everybody turned toward them and grew silent. Doug bent down and put the microphone up to the girl's mouths. 

"We're gunna have a baby brother or sister 'cause Mommy has a bun in the oven." They repeated as Doug had instructed. Everybody laughed, including Carol and Doug. 

"Mommy, what bun?" Tess asked. 

"In what oven?" Kate replied. 

::::::::::::::: 

The end!! What'd you all think? 

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End file.
